Things you would'nt say at a wedding?

Question

Funnyest one wins!

Answer 1

Do you think the caterer gave them other options?

Does the Bride look pregnant to you?

I wonder why they picked you as best man, they don't even like you?

I take thee Cathy Jones. Wait thats not your name

To groom: Dude, I'm so glad someone else here knows what the bride looks like naked! Am I right?! *goes for a hi5

When the Master of Ceremonies asks who thinks these people should not get married, stand up and say loudly "I don't think they should get married! He/She's WAY too hot for him/her! He/She could do SO much better

I hope you marriage lasts longer than a month

I get dibbs on him when you split up

"I never thought that anyone would be silly enough to marry you"

Dude, that chick at your bachelor party was a LOT hotter! What are you thinkin!?

I taught your husband everything he knows

Sorry i couldn't think of any REALLY good ones :)

This is the best i can do : )

Answer 2

Doesnt the bride look beautiful?... even better since the dress maker let the dress out an inch.

I am married my wife/husband because I love them.. oh & Lindsay Lohan/George Clooney was unavailable.

There is a song that says "if u wanna be happy for the rest of your life.... get an ugly girl to marry you!".. so i did!

Answer 3

and your sure the baby's yours

Answer 4

"Is this a shot gun wedding?"  

My husband relatives whispered that during my ceremony because I was six months on my wedding day.  No, it was not a shot gun wedding.  i was engaged in August last year, and found out about the baby in Feb.

Answer 5

hi...

i think never say to the groom and bride:

REST IN PEACE

when u congratulat them

bye..hope i win!!!

Answer 6

You're WHAT??!!

Answer 7

I tapped that.

Answer 8

I object!

Answer 9

I actuall knew someone who did this. They were at a wedding and the bride got up to the alter and decided she couldn't go through with it, this person thought for some reason that this would be the ideal time to share their all consuming love for the movie "Pirates of the Caribbean" with everyone there. In the awkward silence that followed, my friends stood up and yelled : WEDDINGS?! I LOVE WEDDINGS! DRINKS ALL AROUND!!!

His family was not amused.

Answer 10

Here we are again then.

Wow she has put on a lot of weight.

Answer 11

i was at a wedding and the best man started his speech with " someone once told me that a good toast should be as long as the groom makes love" he then sat down.

Answer 12

that you cheated on them

Answer 13

I shat in the salad

Answer 14

[Vicar to groom as the bride walks up the aisle] "Good Lord my son, your wife-to-be has some magnificent t!ts!"

Answer 15

Your wife's had a s*x change!

Answer 16

to the groom:

so, can you guess who here hasn't banged the bride?

can I have sloppy seconds?

here, you can have the handcuffs.  Boy she and I had some good times with those things.  Why just this morning....um, er, .... have fun you two.

to the bride

we put some alum in your panties so the groom won't fall out tonight

has he gotten rid of that nasty drip yet?

is that his baby mama over there

here's a hose and a golf ball - let's see if you can really suck it through

In general

Let's play Whose pinky finger equals the grooms equipment

Boy you can hardly tell she's pregnant!  I hope <groom> has somebody in his family tree that's <name of another race>

Where are the camera's?  I know there filming Redneck Wedding around here somewhere.

When does the orgy start?

Answer 17

hold my piece of what?

Answer 18

when's she due then lol

Answer 19

The only reason im marrying u is because u wnt have s*x b4 marriage

^-^

x