Think I'm getting second thoughts.?

Question

So I'm supposed to be getting married soon and now I'm beginning to think that I am not ready for this. I've always imagined traveling the world and seeing different places. I'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way? Is it normal? The divorce rate these days hasn't helped my feelings either. I've been losing sleep over this. My fiance is incredible and she treats me like a king. I don't know what to do. So anyone that has been through this or who is actually going through this right now, if you can help, please write back. Thanks

Answer 1

no dude, neither i nor my current husband haven't been  through this - when we decided first to move together and then married we did it cos we couldn't exist without each other. each second spent apart was like losing life. we started with him spending all free time in my apartment and then after 1 month of "dating" he moved in with me. and later he bought us a house. and later we got married. and we still intend to travel the world (and we re by the way). together. cos apart that wouldn't be fun. and i am thanking every day for that chance that i met him. he said he is very grateful he met me too. i guess this is how people should get married. cos with time problems don't go away, they multiply and if u re having second thoughts now imagine how desperate and depressed would u be later, when u regret of abandoning your dream. i don't know dude, think again. but on the other hand - u may always get divorced. just sign the prenup. good luck

Answer 2

I felt the same way.  Now I am married and regretting it.  My husband said when I told him I wanted to travel, "I dont care where I am as long as I am with you".  Now I bring it up and he has conveniatly forgotten.  Dont do it.  If it feels wrong it is wrong.

Answer 3

If you are not sure don't do it, marriage is hard enough when you love someone with all your heart, and if you did you would not be having second thoughts, but when you don't it is h**l. Sweetheart take a step back and take a good hard look at yourself before you jump in,

Answer 4

It is common to have this fear.  You must first ask yourself if the fear is because of anything more than jitters.  Is marrying this woman going to prevent you from your dreams?  Why would you feel this way?  If she is a wonderful woman and you can see your dreams being fulfilled only with her in your life than your questions are answered.  Just don't forget to follow your heart.  It will save you both years of heartache if you don't.

Answer 5

Think about this: would your life be better with or without her in it?

If you're losing sleep over this, then that is a red flag right there. That means you're not ready to marry someone. Do what you feel you should do. If you don't want to marry her, then don't marry her. Don't marry her so her feelings are not hurt. You'll end up hurting her  worse in the long run.

Answer 6

Number one, if you are having any kind of second thoughts prior, I would put things on hold, seriously, talk them out with your fiance. If that love is really there, she will give you space to sort things out. If she tells you No and threatens to walk away? The girl wants a rock(the size of Gibraltar) and a party to brag about, not a marriage. Second thoughts mean you have unfinished business, be it dating, travel, whatever. Best to get it out of your system now, or to marry too soon, and get the 7 year itch, mess things up and regret it. I know its not a popular opinion , but better to put things on hold until you are really sure, not just caving to the wants of a bride to be and family. Hun, trust me, if things are really solid between you? She should have no issues with giving you some time. If she won't, hey, tells you she will be a witch on wheels after you are married. You need to talk to her about things, don't be afraid or shy, just talk calmly. Reassure her you want to still marry her, but need time to sort things out before you commit    

Answer 7

Google "cold feet", this is the official term, and it's very common. Don't let it derail you.

Answer 8

If you are having second thoughts perhaps you should not marry now. However, prepare yourself as your fiance most likely does not share your reservations and may perceive this as some sort of rejection. She may tell you to have a nice life and enjoy traveling the world - alone.

But of course you will not know how she is going to react until you talk to her.  She may be quite okay with it and agree with you

Answer 9

I know exactly what you mean! I am in the same situation. Since you are overall pleased with your fiance, just push the date the back. It gives you time to do what you feel you need (I'm in that same process myself) Now you may feel awkward explaining this to your fiance try to be honest, or if you don't feel comfortable with that, say you need  more time for planning because you feel overwhelmed.

Answer 10

Cold feet is very common. I guess you need to decide if its that or if there is more to it than that.