Thinking about getting a cell phone for my daughter. Parents thoughts/experiences please!?

Question

Ok so my daughter is going to be 9 on August 6 and she wants a cell phone for her birthday. NOW before you say anything please read on. I am divorced and she goes to school in my zone. Her dad lives about 50 miles from her school and we have 50% cusotdy (week with me week with him). On the weeks when she is at his house she does not get to talk to anyone on the phone. Not me not friends no one. AND if they do call my house on his weeks I give them his number but they never call. My daughter feels like she can not get any real friends because of the lack of contact with them (most of them give up and just don't call her anymore). She goes to an after school program too....My ex refuses to change our custody to anything less than 50% with him so she will be stuck this way....SO long story longer. Should I get her a cell phone or not? I am looking at the pre-paid. I do not want to be locked into a contract.

Answer 1

I think it is a great idea for her to have a cell phone that goes to Dad's house with her.  The problem is that her dad might not let her use that while with him.  Why does he not allow her to be on the phone?  I doubt it has anything to do with his phone specifically but with her being on the phone in general.  You have to tell him that she has it and is taking it with her to his house, but you can't force him to let her use it.  He can decide to take it away when she gets there and then you're in a worse situation than now.

It may be best to figure out why he won't allow her on the phone and work through that instead.

Answer 2

yeah i would get her a cell phone. this is a special case. if her dad wont even let her talk to you, then she needs the phone so she can call you. and it would help her have friends! good luck!

Answer 3

I dont have prepaid but since I already had T-Mobile, I added a line to my family plan for about and extra $20 a month. They say its $9.95 but add tax and fees it comes out to an extra $20. Before that, I had looked into prepaids, the Fireflys and some other kid phones but they were just too much $$. The downside to adding her to your plan would be to be sure she doesnt text, or go over minutes. My lil sis who got a phone did just that and my mom got a huge bill for texts. I think 9 is ok to have a phone especially under your circumstances. I got an extra line that my 11 yr old and 9yr old share and it more for peace of mind then anything. They only get it when the are going to sleepovers at the granparents or when they go to a sitter after school. HTH

Answer 4

Personally, I think as a general rule 9 is much too young for a cell, but given your daughter's circumstances, I see no harm in giving her a prepaid that is within your budget.

Answer 5

Pursue the courts further for a more appropriate custody arrangement, this is not about you or her dad, it is about her and he is hindering her social abilities. Or if it is going to be 50/50 it needs to be split up differently through the courts. (Let a judge decide, not the dad, if he refuses to budge, I'm sure a judge will see through it and set up something more viable for your daughter.) Until you can figure something out that is in your child's best interests, the phone seems like a good idea, but like another poster said, he may not let her use it either. But look into a child friendly plan that she can not abuse.

Answer 6

i say do it. show her how to use it especially for emergencies and if the phone has speed dial show her how to use it set it up yourself to be on the safe side that its correct. have limits though and as she gets older add more things to the plan like texting or something. and make sure she's being responsible though and never to let it out her sight some people have sticky fingers. try it for a bit though and see how it goes.

Answer 7

your doing it right get prepaid and not a fancy phone because shes 9 i recommend at&t go phones and if he takes her phone or doesnt allow her to use it take it to court.

Answer 8

I think you should and don't worry I have seen a 5 year old with a working i-phone, and it is rude of your ex to not let her see anyone, expecially you.

Answer 9

I would say if you think that she's responsible enough for one then yes.  Nine is kind of young, most parents get their kids those Firefly phones.  But I understand the circumstances.  A lot of providers have 'plans' now that aren't contracts but allow you free nights and weekends and a lot of minutes for about $50 or so a month.  I would say go for it if you think she can handle the responsibility.  But if you go with a prepaid, you will have to buy the phone.  They aren't cheap, I know, I work for AT&T.  Just a piece of advice, great service but very expensive.

Answer 10

Sure try it out! I got one when I was about 15, but technology is a lot more of a tool of communication nowadays.

Answer 11

Sure - I would get her one.  There's no way I would let anyone cut my communication with my daughter or son.

Answer 12

She could have one, but it's not necessary. I would wait until she was 10 or 11. But, from her point of view i would say: YES! SHE'LL DIE WITHOUT ONE!!!

Answer 13

My first phone was a prepaid phone when I was 12, and it worked out great. The only real reason my parents got it for me was b/c I walked home from school alone and they wanted to be able to contact me. But I guess i just don't understand why she is not allowed to use the phone at her dad's house? And not even to talk to YOU? You're her mother! That seems a little odd. Yes, I think you should definitely get her a cell, b/c you should always be able to be in contact with your daughter even when she is with her dad. As long as you're sure he won't take that away from her when she's there.

Answer 14

me personally wouldn't get my child a cell phone until she is at least 15 because than they know what true responsibility is. And you can allow them to get a job and take over the payments on their own phone, which gives them a sense of adulthood and pride in being able to afford it. My brother got their 13 year old a cell phone and she abused the privilege because she didn't know what responsibility really was. But in your daughters case I would say that getting her a phone would be a good idea. You don't want her to not have friends and be stuck with nothing for a week while she lives with her dad. And the prepaid will cost you more monthly than a contract phone company will. If your area has cricket I suggest you get that... its a no contract, set monthly fee phone company. and you can get her a refurbished phone so it wont cost as much.