I've suffered from depression my entire life. When it started, depression wasn't considered an illness and brushed off my many doctors. In 2002 I had a life changing epiphany that I had serious issues. Let's just say I'm thankful the police didn't arrest me for my out of control actions. So I started seeing a shrink who said it was depression and biploar and put me on meds, one for depression and one to help stop the racing thoughts at night. He wasn't listening to me that I didn't feel better so I changed docs who in turn changed my meds. My new antidepressant worked and still works great for me but I was still having uncontrolled outbursts. My doc thought it could be ADD and we started treatment. Now, I'm totally in control for the first time in my life with the drug combo I'm currently on. My problem is that my insurance changed and I no longer have drug coverage. The cost of my meds is beyond my means so I was thinking of coming off the anti-d. Of course I would do it under docs supervision and let family and friends know to monitor my behavior. I don't want to spend the rest of my life on meds and want to see if I can safely come off them after so many years but I'm scared I might start the outburts again and lose yet another job. What would you do? I feel great these days but I'm not sure if it's a drug induced great or if I'm actually over the true depression. Advise?
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