This a poem dont be to harsh plz

Question

the harps and angels are shooting down there light

and my heart is open for the taking

if i could move on up and keep on wishing

it would be a bliss of disturbia

my heads twisting in a entourage of hope

are my feelings the cliche expected

or am i living in a reality that only exists in a fairy tale

i want to run my mouth and tell the lies that would change

I had no color i had no meaning but yet i found myself

in the scene of mediocrity that would shake and twist

my deep meaning words had no influence because you cant understand

my hope is diteriorating because you dont show

my heart is for yours but its closing

Answer 1

I think you got some words wrong like in line 1, THERE light, should be THEIR light.

And then "in a entourage of hope", 'a' should be 'an'.

It's kinda weird in a sense.. why is your heart closing? That feels kinda emo, and ironic in a sense.

Answer 2

There is the makings of a great poem lying in your words.  This needs to be condensed to about half of what is now penned.

Angels with harps sending light rays dancing

my heart warmly accepts, opening, wishing

a bliss of disturbia, entourage of hope

Keep at it, you have some great images and emotions already.  This for a start, very nice.

Answer 3

I like it a lot. Keep this style of writing and I think you will do great! Good luck and keep on writing!!

Answer 4

........awesome!!!!!!!!!!