This child is going to drive me bonkers.?

Question

I Nanny for a 4 year old boy who has major temper tantrums and melt downs that last for about 40 minutes each, 3 to 4 times per day. (Over things like not wanting to wear clothes, not wanting to eat meals, not wanting to sit in the car seat, etc).

His Parents ignore whatever reason is behind the tantrums and usually give in (icecream only for lunch).

If he is upset, the parents get upset with the Nanny (me).

WHAT CAN I DO??? How can I help control this child.. please help me!

Answer 1

if the parents are not willing to help there is not much you can do but you could quit and find a new family to help but the parents need to wake up a smell the beans.

Answer 2

I think that you should start some positive reinforcement for when he is being good.  Perhaps a "good boy" sticker at the end of the day and after an agreed upon number of stickers he gets a prize, like take him to the dollar store to pick out a new toy or he gets to pick an activity.  Don't praise him with attention when he is throwing temper tantrums.... simply say "(name) I am going to go play with some playdough.  Feel free to play with me when you're done!"  This really works!  You can have this kid turned around in no time, especially if you are the primary care giver.

Answer 3

just teach him decipline and let him cry, ignore him, he will learn his lesson eventually. knit or something, while he has tantrums

Answer 4

It depends on what the parents expect from you. Do they expect you to turn him around or do they not care? It sounds like you care more than them, and probably because you are spending more time with him. The easy thing to do is to give in to the kid. But if the parents see his behavior as a reflection on the work you are doing you have to explain that you are just not getting through to him.  Are you a nanny by experience or education? I ask because although I am sure you are a wonderful nanny I wonder if you have had any cousework in child psychology.  This is not a quick fix obviously but taking such courses could help you in your strategy.  Until then, the only thing I can suggest is being firm and being consistent. You may have to find another family whose disciplinary ideals match yours though.  But do consider a class if you haven't already.

Answer 5

If the parents give in to him he will always throw tantrums.

Really the only way to end tantrums in kids that age is to stop giving in to them. Is it possible he does it for attention. The kids I know who throw tantrums like you described don't get enough attention from their parents. Maybe giving him A LOT of positive attention will ease the tantrums. Also, give him choices what color shirt to you want to wear today? Blue or green? This way the choice isn't whether or not he's putting on the shirt put what color. You can do this with most situations.

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