This guy likes me and keeps texting but I have a specific problem w/ him, is it shallow??

Question

I'm in high school and this guy likes me and keeps texting (he's asked me to be his girlfriend). But my problem is, I adore poetry, deep conversations, philosophy, I even work at a library. What I always imagined for myself was an intelligent older man, who shared my love of literature and the arts :)

On the other hand, this boy has been known to start meaningless fights, failed all of his classes, doesn't like school, has a reading level below a baby's, his spelling is horrendous.....He's told me to disobey my parents, but he still says things like, "you're pretty and smart". I of course can't tell him I don't want anything serious with him. Question is:

Is it shallow/rude to have a problem like that w/ him, and what should I do? :) Thank you

Answer 1

I don't think that's shallow at all. We should all have standards. Guys like that scare me. He'll cause nothing but trouble for you. Tell him no, gently but firmly, obviously, and then cut off all contact. Bring a parent into it if you have to.

I've had to do that on more than one occasion, but it's for the best.

I hope this was helpful. =)

Answer 2

there's nothing wrong with that. that's a good quality to have cuz girls are usually into stupid guys...

just tell him no and that he's not your type. just be friends.

you should appreciate yourself and you should know when a guy appreciates you too. it doesn't sound like he does.

Answer 3

HA! not shallow...smarty pants!! good for you, this guy sounds like a real loser....how much of an older guy? dont go dating some 40 year old lol

Answer 4

No, it's not shallow or rude, it's d**n smart!

It would be shallow for you to want to be with him just because he compliments you, or because you're flattered that someone likes you.

He's the shallow one, by nature, not by choice.

This guy unfortunately is already on a collision course with fate, and he is not going to win in that crash!

He's reckless, he doesn't care about what's important in life, and frankly, he sounds below your level.

Getting involved with this guy could literally ruin your life.

Remember, sometimes warning signs go off in our heads, and we have to listen to them.

I think you're hearing those alarms going off, you can 'sense' that something is not right there, but because you see all these other girls dating & stuff, you're afraid maybe you're missing out, or being too picky or whatever.

There are LOTS of older guys who would jump off a cliff to be with a spiffy smart girl like you!

So hang on, maybe get in situations where you can meet older smart, interesting guys (night classes? church?), so don't be impatient.

The world is full of pregnant, poor, bruised young women who were in a hurry to get into a relationship, and suffered for it.

Answer 5

Tell him that your parents don't want you to date any one. OR SCARE HIM SAYING THAT YOUR MOVING!

Answer 6

I dont think its rude. i just think that its not like your gunna marry this guy. So i dont think why it would be wrong if you went out with him for a while. who knows. maybe u might really like him.

Answer 7

Not at all being shallow with this situation!  Your gut or instincts are telling you something---your smart you see a red flag waving--warning warning!  So heed what your feeling and just have a casual friendship with this person! He will get the message! You don't have to be rude, but you can be stand-offish in a casual way!

I wouldn't give him any attention other than if he does talk to you, I wouldn't answer his text message either, he might look at this as you being interested!  That is the last thing you want! I hope this helps in making the decision I feel you already know which is best here!  Cheers and good luck!!

Answer 8

i understand. what you should do is just kinda hang out with him, but not date. i see your problem and sometimes, you might find, that the meaningless conversations are quite fun, sometimes. i love quality conversations, and i'm sure he can have them too, but he might just be shy towards you and only talks meaningless or does that to his friends bc they will think he's odd.

in short, no, your not shallow, but you might just be unwilling to meet others.

Answer 9

People always say opposites attract but that is wrong. You aren't shallow or rude. If you don't feel compatible with this guy tell him your really sorry but no. you'll need someone at who has at least some of your interests and can talk to you about your opinions and share his own.

Answer 10

No way, it's frustrating.  This might be hard for you to do but you have to tell him you are not interested.  He might be upset and even get really mad. But if he gets too mad and threatens you then I would call the police.  I guy who says it's ok to disobey your parents and can't read is NOT the guy you want to be with.  If your parents don't already know about him then tell them, you would be surprised how much parents can help. Just do it in person and not over the phone or mail.  He sounds like he could be a violent person so be delicate when you tell him.  You are not shallow or rude you just need to realize what is best for you. Good Luck!!!

Answer 11

There is NOTHING wrong with having standards.  The minute you accept less then what you want, you have just lowered your standards, and you shouldn't have to do that. You can always just be friends.

Answer 12

You should definatly not feel bad about this, this guy isnt your type, and you are way out of his legue, obviously. just tell him you dont like him

Answer 13

No, it's not shallow. Shallow would be not liking him because of how he looks.

Your just not the same type of people...

Find a way to tell him that you just don't like him like that.

Answer 14

ummm...no. i don't think its shallow. plus people have different tastes in the person they want to be with.

Answer 15

no ur not shallow! there's nothing wrong with setting standard(high) for yourself! if  my siser had done that she would be with a man that could put food on the table!who wants to hang around some low-life uneducated person that's hasn't set any goals for himself other than planning on beating up the next person he meets?

Answer 16

No. You have a certain type of guy. There is no problem there.