This is Love poem IV. What do you think?

Question

Love poem IV

(I believe I have met my soulmate)

The light of Venus, grace of the skies

Is an undying sheen in her cloudless eyes

A heavenly joy dwells deep in her heart

An innocent love with no disguise

And o’er that flowing golden hair

So soft, so pure, a beauty rare

A queenly crown should sparkle bright

For she’s a goddess, a maiden fair

And surely Aphrodite will stare amazed

With eyes agape and eyebrows raised

At that summit of all earthly grace

That all the stars of sky have praised

She is a walking star on earth

Her smile, the bloom of joy and mirth

Thanl you,

Lulleh QQ

Answer 1

I like it. But it seems to end abruptly. When start to read it I like it but when I get to the end it feels like there should be more. I know that ending poems is very hard to do it right. But you are of to a great start.

keep at it

Answer 2

I love the imagery you use in the first two lines, as well as the two lines about Aphrodite's stare, because I wasn't expecting them at all. However, with all due respects, I found the rest of the poem to be very predictable. Maybe that's just me.

P.S. You do realize that Aphrodite is Venus's Greek name, don't you?

Answer 3

i think that it was very good and don't listen to the person above me.I think that the best poems are when you use your vocab in ways that not many others do. Keep writting cause that was good. I would even try to get that published by someone too. Good luck never give up on the important things. That make you smile :)

Answer 4

I think I may have said this before....so, please excuse me, if I have.....your poetry is excellent - but, you have been born in the wrong era.  You should be sitting with Keats, and Shelley, and Wordsworth.....lots of people will love this....your rhythm and rhyme is faultless but many others will dismiss you as old-fashioned.

Personally, I now like both rhymed and unrhymed poetry.

One of the things I also like about your work, is that you aren't afraid to keep changing and improving what you do....tonight I've been reading some raw postings - which could have worked so much better if the writers had just taken a bit more time and care with them. As you do.  Well done

Answer 5

I think this is very good. I really like it. keep writing =]

Answer 6

I'm new to poetry, so I don't feel confident in critiquing it...but yours is the first poem I've read on here that I thought was excellent and polished (including my own).  

I love stellar and celestial themes; I think they're really wonderful and dreamy.  I wish I could offer you something more, but all I have is this:

Your poem sent me into a lovely dream-like state.  Your imagery is magical and supurb.  I hope you keep writing.

Answer 7

Bravo!!

I like very much!

Encore.