This is WAR. Please Rate, Comment, etc.

Question

There's a bomb in the back seat,

can't open the door.

When you're seconds from death

bombs are hard to be ignored.

Severe case of frustration

Another left without a hair

Bombs everyday

People left without a prayer

Psychiatric pain

Some leave without a brain

Going insane

All the war's icebergs started with a flame

But their spirit is dead

The smell of death is getting to their head

It's hard to be content

When you're barely even fed

Heaven or h**l

No one really cares

After years of killing

You're conscious starts to ware

Should I take my life now

Or have a chance to get killed tomorrow

But they're scared

Because they know death is not to borrow

There are bombs, hate, torture,

mutual division

But despite all that,

Most die of indecision

Answer 1

Good poem. Sturdy foundation for a great poem. Needs a lot of revising.

"You're conscious starts to ware" That line made no sense to me. Maybe it's a matter of grammar, or a misuse of the words.  

Answer 2

really great, meaningful poem

tell me what you think of mine:

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 3

I could see there is some meaning to this poem. The rhyme scheme does not conform to any certain cadence but then again neither does the stream of ideas so they tend to meld mutually.

It seems like a tirade against certain evils in society but eventually conveys the theme with the last line that "All that evil needs to succeed is for the good people to do nothing."

I've got to say this is very thoughtful, keep it up.