This is a marriage question.Please answer.Don't lecture.?

Question

Well the other day,my husband asked me did I still have feelings for my ex.Is this a good answer?

I don't think that I do.My mind questions me about it but my heart tells me that I don't.I don't love them.But every since I met you,I kind of forgot about them.

Then he asked me about did I marry him to make my ex jealous.Is this a good answer.

I don't think so.Because why would I had gone out with you for seven years.My mind questions me but I do love you.I didn't tell them about my marriage or keep in contact with them because I wanted them completely out of my life after I married you.I don't regret marrying you.You're the only man that I want to be with.I love you.

Are those good answers?

My mind keeps questioning about all of this but my heart tells me the truth.Is my mind just playing tricks on me?Will my husband divorce me over this?

I have had thoughts about my ex but I don't want to cheat on my husband because I love him.

Is this how you know that you don't want to be with your ex?

You love your husband.

You don't love your ex.

You don't want to cheat on your husband.

You want to be with your husband.

You You don't want to hurt your husband.

My friend had a dream about me and my ex boyfriend and I liked hearing it but I wouldn't dare act on it.I wouldn't cheat on my husband and I haven't.Do you think that he will divorce me or not?

My heart and mind are saying two different things but I'm trusting my heart

Answer 1

It sounds like you are where you want to be.  Is there a reason your husband asked about your ex?  You and your hubby have been together for 7+ years and he's asking you now? I think your answers to him were open and honest.  Unless there is more to the story than what you've told here, there is no reason for a divorce at all!

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

If you cheat on your husband you will have a guilt complex all your life.  Cheating anyone it is wrong.  You will have guilt feelings right into your old age.  Don't get confused over lust and love.  Be honest with yourself and do the right thing.

Your husband sounds very insecure.  I don't have any answers for him.

Answer 3

mmm...I wouldn't tell him your mind questions those things, but make it clear you have no regrets of marrying him at all. That should settle it.

Answer 4

i think that there's so much infinished talk between you & your ex's and the what' if's etc etc.  i dont' think there's anything wrong with this but.. it does seem like you still have some feeling for them...but you are smart enough to stay with the man that loves you... be smart... it's important that you communicate with your husband but never tell him what you really feel because it can backfire on you.. if you can.. don't bring up the subject with him anymore because then you will really say something yoy don't want to say and he may get angry and then wanna divorce you.  your answers were good but when you say "i don't think so" doens't sound believable.. you have to let him know that you really love it and say it like you mean it.

Answer 5

If you're honest with yourself, I say you still have feelings for your ex.  You seem a bit hesitant and unsure and I would venture to say that your current husband probably senses your nervous/ambiguous feelings.  I would hope to hear:  i'm so done with him, there's not a chance in heck i would ever go back to him; a thousand horses couldn't make me to back; what we have is so far and above superior and i don't even want to discuss it anymore.  Then, bury the discussion and don't bring it up.  I'm a little confused as to why you're conflicted though....if you have doubts you gotta talk about it openly.  Don't hurt your husband by 'going thru the motions' if you haven't worked out the 'ex' feelings.  

Answer 6

girl you shouldv'e been specific. No i don't miss my ex, i love you! no i didn't marry you to make them jealous, i marroied you cause i love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. the idk's tell him that you are not sure i may and may not. that's not good. if it comes up again give him definate answers that don't leave room for more questions...good luck.

Answer 7

if he divorces you for expressing how you feel then maybe that's best... you mentioned no contact.. but i have to ask did you talk to about him a lot.. if so maybe your husband is sick of hearing of him and that alone can raise doubt.  because your thoughts are more focused on the ex (if you talk about him alot)

your answers seem very wishey washy you sound confused they seem true feelings but it shows me that your confused... try talking about it more with yourself... and if he and youc an't let the past go then maybe what you have now isn't really what it seams to be.

no matter how much you love him... passion don't run a relationship alone... you need trust and communication...

talk it out.  

Answer 8

you still obviously love your ex. you wouldn't have these problems w/ur husband asking silly questions if you didn't still love ur ex. ur husband knows it too. hes getting that "gut" feeling that we women get all the time. as for your answers, they only reassure your husbands doubts.

"My mind questions me about it but my heart tells me that I don't"

that is ridiculous. how would YOU like to get that kind of answer.

"My heart and mind are saying two different things but I'm trusting my heart"

you sound very confused. i hope you can figure out how you feel b4 you add some innocent children into the mix.