This is a question relating adoption?

Question

hiii...last day ma father's frnd ringed him up and they have adopted a child and she is 10yrs nw and they have a doubt wheater she will ask 4 her parents and all but she dnt no tht she is adopted ..they r very confused ma father told me thsi and i thought this will be the best to do plz help if u ave any suggestions orelse thxx 4 reading bgod bless u all!!!!

Answer 1

"Honesty is the best policy"

Answer 2

Be honest.Our daughter tells people that she grew in our hearts not belly and that we are her mom and dad.Shes only 8 and has always known thats where she came from.You just dont have to go into great detail on it with them.But never hide it or else  they may resent you someday.

Answer 3

she needs to Know because when she has a baby in 10 years or so she needs to know a family history.  also if she chooses to look for birth parents it will be her choice when she turns 18 they need to understand though that she doesnt love them any less she may just want some 411

Answer 4

Be open and honest with the child

Answer 5

Sooner the better.  No secrets. No lies.  Good Luck.

Answer 6

Hiding the truth can bring out larger problems in the future. Both of my children (11 and 6) know that they are adopted.

Answer 7

Tell your father friend that he needs to be honest with his daughter now before it too late. If he has information about the birth parents inform her if not let her know the circumstance of the adoption. If she finds out later in life it may devastate her and leave her with serious trust issues and abandonment issues. If he is honest know she may still have allot of question but will understand why she look different from parents.

Answer 8

My brother and sister were adopted and they've known since they could speak that they didn't grow out of my mother's tummy, but someone else's. And even though they didn't grow in her belly, they grew in her heart and reminding him/her that their adoptive family loves them with all their hearts and they are a real child to them will make any child happy. Be completely honest, since they should have told her when she was younger.

Answer 9

This girl should have been told all along that she was adopted. They really do need to be honest with her now. Because they have not told her before, she might be pretty upset. And she will have every right to be upset, because keeping this from her is pretty much the same as lying. She may well be hurt, angry, sad -- all sorts of feelings at once. The parents should be prepared for this, and to have thought about how she will feel, so that they can react to her feelings with empathy and not get defensive. They need to let her know that it is okay to feel strongly about this, and that they love her no matter what feelings she has.

They might want to get some books to give to her when they tell her, so that she will have the thoughts of other kids that were adopted to help her understand what she is feeling. Most of the books are for younger kids, but maybe they should try these:

How it feels to be adopted, by Jill Krementz

http://www.amazon.com/How-Feels-Adopted-...

It is a little old, but real kids in this book who are just her age tell their OWN stories.

Who Am I? and other questions of adopted kids, by Charlene Gianetti

http://www.amazon.com/Who-Am-Questions-A...

And maybe also:

Adopted: the ultimate teen guide, by Suzanne Buckingham Slade and others

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0810857...

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew,  by Sherrie Eldridge

http://www.amazon.com/Twenty-Things-Adop...

I wish them all good luck with this. Thank you for caring about how she feels.

Answer 10

if he wants to know about her real parents then be honest and tell her, do it in the right way though so she understands clearly why shes with you and not with her real parents.

Answer 11

Honesty is the best policy!