This is a song my sis wrote. tell me if it's good.?

Question

sitting back

way back

in the fields

telling me

what i wanna hear

and...i ...really

like it

yeah yeah

chorus

only when i'm with you

i tell everything

thats going on in my life

only when i'm with you

will i feel my very best

oh i love the way it feels

with head on your chest

it feels so right

i could stay here all night

yeah

sitting here

on the phone..with you

i'm wishing i wasnt all alone

your telling me

it'll be okay

we'll go another day

oh baby

dont you worry

becuz

chorus

i know

we are gonna last forever

yes i do

because our love

is so true

only when

i'm with

you

i know it's true

yeah only when

only when

only when

chorus

i could~stay~here~

all night

yeah

only when i am with you

oh, oh~

sitting back

way back

next to you

my sis is like 14 so beware if it sux.lol

Answer 1

sounds really plain. i would rate it like 4/10

Answer 2

Honestly, its sounds childish to me. When she rhymes its a forced rhyme which sounds not good. And its so normal and un-unique.

And I really dont like the line:

"i know

we are gonna last forever

yes i do

because our love

is so true"

Like really, you dont say that your love is gonna last forever, your 14, its not time for marriage, this sounds so cliche.

Other then that I think you should improve your vocabularly and maybe use metaphors to get your point across (So it sounds less cheesy)

But you have the potential to be good =]

Answer 3

bit plain but good 4 a 14 year old

its also bout the music you have a good sound to it then it always helps

Answer 4

This is good to me! But really you should just ask your family what they think because somebody could steal it and make big money off of it...... I like it....It may need a few touching up to do but I kinda of like it!!!!

Answer 5

it sounds like mixtures of songs i've heard on the radio.