This is a story someone please tell me if its good!?

Question

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago lived a little gray wolf. Now this little gray wolf was smaller than every one. He was always being picked on, but those who picked on him the most were three pigs from his fourth grade class. These pigs were brothers. One was named Gerald, he was the biggest of them all. The other was Harold, he was the meanest of the three. The last was named Franco, he was the ugliest of them all. A rumor went around school that they all lived separately. One lived in a straw house, one in a house of sticks, and the other in a house of bricks.

Now back to little gray. It was only the fourth week of fourth grade and the bullying was getting worse and worse. Every day little gray went through name-calling, bantering, teasing, joking, mockery, ridicule, being scoffed at, beaten up, punched, tripped, socked, having his lunch money stolen, and all manner of nastiness. When he got home from school he lied to his mother about his day and why there were bruises on his face.

One day when he was feeling particularly brave, he decided to stand up to the bullies and tell them to stop. He practiced in front of the mirror for three days. He talked lower than normal so he sounded extra tough. He put on seven shirts, so he looked extra big. And he stood on his tip toes so he looked extra tall. He began the day feeling the bravado of a lion, but as the day went on his knees began to shake, his palms got sweaty, and his stomach churned, he was no longer feeling big and brave. At last it was time for him to confront his enemies, although he had butterflies in his belly, he knew what had to be done. He marched toward the pigs with his shoulders back and his brow furrowed, he tapped one of these pigs on the shoulder, cleared his voice and squeaked the words, “ Please stop bulling me.”. Before finishing his sentence he felt a giant ham-hock smash in his nose. This was not the desired outcome.

Feeling defeated and small as a mouse, Little Gray limped home. Once again he goes home to his mother, and looks her in the eye and tells her his nose was bloodied in a hard fought football game were he was the victor. Then he sees the disappointment in his mother’s eyes and that lights a fire within him. In, a rage he withdraws to his bedroom to fantasize darkly about how to exact, revenge on the three pigs. The more he plans, the more it kindles the fire within him, and the more diabolical the plan becomes. Finally! The perfect plan has been devised.

Realizing that the food that pigs love the most is truffles dug from the deepest richest soil, form the south of France. He orders them on the internet (over night express). They arrive the next day and can be smelled throughout the neighborhood. His plan starts as he walks to the house of straw, where Gerald lives. With the truffles in hand he knocks on the door and says, “Little pig little pig let me...,” but before he could finish the pig smells the truffles, runs wildly around his house, knocking down the fragile straw house. Perfect.

Wolf goes to the next house, Herald’s, which is made of sticks, and once again with the truffles in hand he knocks on the door saying,” Little pig, little pig let me...,” suddenly just like Gerald, Herald runs madly around destroying his house. Great.

His plan was going perfectly, not only had he destroyed two houses but the two pigs had followed him to the third pig’s house in desperation for the truffles. He knocks on the large wooden door. “ Hello?”, out popped a large ugly snout. It was Franco. “ Would you like me to make you dinner?” asked Wolf. It seem the wolf hadn’t even heard a word wolf said. All the pigs were transfixed on the truffles, there mouths were watering, the eyes were bulging. Wolf started a pot of boiling water. He snickered to himself, what the pigs didn’t know was that they were going into the pot, they would be dinner. As the water begins a rolling boil, the wolf salts the water. He then asks the three pigs to help him place the truffles in the pot. Just as he is about to push them into the pot, he trips on a ladle and the truffles go flying and land with a plop in the water. All the pigs began to drain the water to save the truffles. Finally with all the water drained they begin shoving there faces full of truffles. Their eyes roll back in delight. The cry with pleasure and say, “ Wolf, you are amazing! Please, please tell us what we can do for you to get you to make these fine truffles again!”. Wolf makes them promise to never upset him again. “Done!” they say, “ Not only shall we be nice, but we shall make sure everyone is nice to you! We will, from now on be your trusted body guards.”

Wolf was finally happy, he never had to lie to his mother again, he took on a new life, a new beginning, and with a new beginning, he needed a new name. He then became “ Wolfgang Puck”

Answer 1

I liked it.you are very good at writing stories and you should keep doing so.your imagination is good.

Answer 2

it's too long. . . i don't want to read it. you should have had some sort of summary as well

Answer 3

It's good only if it's supposed to be a retelling of the three little pigs... it's a little cliche and too simple. But it depends on your age. If you are a child, it's good... otherwise I think that instead of "telling" the story, you should use more description so that it paints a picture in the reader's head and it will be way more interesting. Also, you need to use proper formatting for your paragraphs and it will be easier to read. And I think you can use a more original beginning. Maybe try telling it from a first-person perspective, so that a character is telling the story from their point of view. In general, it jumps around too much; you should keep it to one time frame. If it's in the present, keep it there and use the proper tense. If in the past, stick to past tense. It's a little confusing otherwise. I think you need to edit it a bit; spelling and grammar is not bad, but I see a few mistakes that are pretty noticeable. Could be typos though.

Answer 4

Yes is good you have talent, it makes the storie been seen from another point of view with a happy ending!!! Keep rocking :]