This is about my younger sister?

Question

she is 8 yrs younger,(we are in our 40's) and was the tom-boy of the family. She has this habit of always wanting to score a point, and in the process tries to make me feel small. Always wanting to win an argument, and becomes rather nasty while doing so. I am married and have a family, while she chose to be a (single) career woman. She scoffs at married women, and it's very apparent it's a case of "sour grapes". My husband says to simply ignore her scathing comments, as she is probably envious of my life. But why should I. Having a decent talk with her is not possible, as it'll turn into a heated argument.

What do I do to tolerate this attitude of hers?

Please help!

Thanks!

Answer 1

Avoid her - ignore her.

You cannot change people.

Leave her to her destiny.

Make your future bright by minding your own business.

Answer 2

off the wall answer..........

Be happy you have a sister that is healthy!

Mine has breast cancer and may not live to fight our old childhood games.

Think about it!

Answer 3

don't listen to your husband, talk to your sister deeply as in 1 on 1 heart to heart talk

Answer 4

This has been something going on for many years. It's not likely that'll she'll change right away. However she shouldnt treat you like this. Maybe she's looking for recognition for her personal achievements. You have to really ask yourself a lot of questions of why her persona is the way it is today? Has she been living in your shadow? Are you an over achiever? Maybe shes jealous... or maybe she really does think she has it so much better than you and everyone else... You're both older now... or well at least one of you are... so don't worry about it so much... you have a family  yourself now and thats whats important.

...or maybe you can be extra nice to her one day and see where it goes from there... maybe she'll return the kindness...  

Answer 5

your hubbys right. cut it off with her, she'll eventually get the point and maybe if not change her ways, maybe she will cool it down alittle around you if she wants to be around you. id cut all ties till she realizes how immature she is. good luck

Answer 6

Honest advice?  Tell her that it really hurts when she cuts you down like that and you wish she'd stop.  Don't argue or shout or anything about it, quiet and calm all the way.

Sometimes people don't think about what they're saying, they just blurt it out.  If she is like my sister, she'll feel guilty and hopefully stop with the cut downs.  

Answer 7

Sadly i agree with your husband, she may be envious, though she may not even know it or she might - just because her life turned out to be single careered maybe totally different to what her heart really wants, maybe she really did want to get married but didn't find the right man or maybe she is holding a secret tigh, instead of getting frustrated with her hold some patients and nurture her anxiety and sadness, she might just realise she has a family to love her and she might just turn around and maybe find some one nice or she might nurture you back and want to spend more time with her. just remember that what someone says can be totally different to what they feel inside even if they are convincing about it. try to take her back as a sister - she might need you in her life even though she denies it now. good luck.  

Answer 8

You don't tolerate it. Give yourself and your family some space from her. Even if it's just for a few months. When she calls to come over, tell her its not a good time. When you go to family gatherings, keep at fifty paces. Don't give her a reason to scoff. The family may not be the only ones who don't like her attitude. If she is in her thirties and still acting like that she may just be a woman scorn forever. To tell you the truth it took untill my late forties to finally decide to put one of my sisters at arms length. I speak to her from time to time and when I do talk to her, it reminds me why I don't. You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family.

Answer 9

She is not likely  to change...but you certainly don't have to tolerate her behavior.  Accept that she is who she is...and simply leave the area when she does this. Excuse yourself politely and walk away.  If she asks, calmly tell her that you prefer to have a happy life and if she can't contribute to that...you won't be there.  It's important to remain calm.. and non--confrontational. She's not your enemy...she just has a bad habit.  Any change has to come from her. Good luck.

Answer 10

Sibling Rivalry cant live with it cant live without it. doesn't it just suck when there's a situation such as this one.  The best you can do is love your sister for who she is and do have a sit down with her one on one.  Ask her what it is about married couples she dont like?  tell her how she makes you feel... Or if you want to go for the extreme set her up on a date, it may take a little loving to calm her attitude down a notch. It worked wonders for my sister hehehe.  

Answer 11

I doubt any good will come out of talking to her. Be diplomatic and stay away from her. Don't make it seem obvious, and above all do not give room for her to bully you this way.

Answer 12

You just said the following: "But why should I. Having a decent talk with her is not possible.." That translates into the fact that your husband gave you the only viable answer. Ignore her, even disassociate yourself from her. You're almost 50. It's time to live your life past the immaturity of your stupid sister. Now thank your husband for his common sense. I suggest something frilly.