This is an embarrasing question....

Question

okay so im 13 and like last year i saw my dad looking at p**n. he doesnt know that i know about it. i though he kinda stopped but for the past few months hes been looking at p**n EVERY night for like....3 hours? it bothers me A LOT.

i dont know if my mom knows about it though. (by the ways hes 52)

but what really pissed me off was that i caught him looking at p**n ON MY LAPTOP!!! i seriously dont want that c**p on MY laptop!!! omg and i know that hes looking at p**n RIGHT NOW.

i dont know what to do!!! i mean, hes sooo mean to my mom. he contantly yells and curses at her. but divorse is out of the question.

im like about to cry with this part.....okay so like 2 or 3 days ago my dad yelled at my mom. what else is new? -.- and later on my mom said to me, "hunny, when you grow up, i want you to find a guy that adores you." im about to cryyyy. my mom deserves better treatment!!!

okay so i guess theres 2 questions.

1. how do i get my dad to stop looking at p**n---distract him. confronting him is out of the question.

2. should i tell my mom? i REALLY dont want to--wayyy to awkward. plus im a shy person.......

i feel like hes cheating on her in a way..... i dont know.....

Answer 1

tell your mom its for your own good or you can  pass buy your dad and say hey dad and tell him stories and kepp on going on and on ...:))

Answer 2

He is cheating on your Mom, and his guilt may be part of his anger. But abuse, which is often related to p**n at some level, is NEVER acceptable. It is good that it all makes you feel uncomfortable, it should never be comfortable. I do not believe in divorce, but never let that stand in the way of you and your mother's safety. Your mom does deserve better. If you do not have a religious leader or counselor that you can confide in, maybe you will have to tell your Mom. But you and your Mom need to seek counseling, to learn how to deal with all this. DO not do anything for anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable, but don't be afraid to tell the truth, no matter how difficult. Your dad needs counseling too, but that may be more difficult. Do not let your father do  ANYTHING to you he shouldn't. p**n is also a leading contributor to child molestation and pedophilia. It is common in spousal abuse, and rape, as well as child abuse.. It is not something you want to have anything to do with. See if there is someone that can get you one on  one help. Community services, child welfare, someone needs to intervene in your family for you and your mother and your father's sake.

Answer 3

dads/guys look at p**n. some girls/moms do too, but less than guys. there are always two sides to everything. in this case you are painting your dad as a really bad person. if he is mean and abusive toward your mom then that is bad, but to blame the p**n doesn't seem quite fair. so, either you are siding with your mom's view about p**n being "evil" or your dad is truly a bad guy. either way your dad will not stop watching p**n, unless of course, your fills his "need" gross...  

Answer 4

Your dad will never stop looking at p**n. Bottom line. He wants to watch p**n. Let him. And no he isn't cheating on her. p**n is a fantasy. It has nothing to do with anyone or anything. And its just like fantasy's that people have in their heads..except those are worst, sometimes.

Your mom probably knows that your dad looks at p**n. Any married woman, knows most of the time. When you have been with someone long enough...you know more then you let on.

Your 13. This is the weight of the world on your shoulders. I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through and what you are living with. Your parents have some terrible issues it seems. But those are their issues. Nothing you can do to change them. Just keep on being there for your mom. She needs you, more then she needs your dad. You are her sun that comes out at night...you are her angel.

I am sorry for the life that you have to live, day in and day out. But I am more sorry for your mom. I am very, very thankful that my husband does not treat me that way and that he is the one that adores me.

My heart goes out to you, your mom but mostly your dad.

May he find his peace someday.

Answer 5

dear i think u & ur mother should give alot of time to ur father

give inporatnce to him and give enough importance that he become a responsible person

and discuss all daily matters with him that he bcome sensible and make him decission head

u know when a man having not such a imporatnce from home or his immediate relation his attention divert to somewhere

and this is also for u a tip that u will give importance to ur life partener that he will ADORE u

in Love all the matter of give n take

good luck

Answer 6

1. Don't try to stop your dad from looking at p**n. You can't. All you will do is start a fight, and it isn't worth it. You should keep your laptop away from him if you can.

2. Don't take the trouble to tell your mom. It won't do any good. She more than likely knows already. Since they aren't getting along, they probably have zero s*x life and the p**n is the best he can do.

If you can't talk to a counselor, you just have to live with it.

Answer 7

Let your mom know... and put a password on your computer.

Answer 8

I can understand your being upset, but trust me when I say this...it is your parents battle...let them fight it.  

If you were able to catch him, trust me your mother either knows or has caught him herself.

As for watching it on your pc, I can understand from your point where you don't want it there because your insulted and disgusted.  From his point, I am sure he figures he bought it, he is allowed.  And unfortunately, there is no arguing that with him.  

As for your father yelling at your mother, I can understand where that hurts you and makes you mad.  But once again, it is your mothers battle...let her fight it.  She needs to get tired of the treatment and realize it on her own.  Your talking to her about it would only upset her more.

As for getting your father to stop watching p**n, there is nothing you can do.  If you explain how awkward it makes you feel, he may think you have either spied on him or just get better about watching it.

As for telling your mom...I don't think you should.  Because once again, it is between her and him.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but as a married woman and mother of 4 children, there are just some things that are of no concern to my children.  Most parents feel this way as well.  As long as there is no direct pain or mistreatment to you, then let it be.

I wish I could offer you better advice.

Answer 9

um s h i t w.t.f just let your mum know a.s.a.p she will know what to do! change your pass word on your laptop or break it!  

Answer 10

Get advice from a counsellor

Answer 11

well i know my dad looks at p**n because i found his little goodie box filled but, i never actually see him and my dad's more open h**l just out of nowhere start talkin about someone's booty or w/e but i know he's faithful to my mommy. She always tells me when i grow up dont get married and be careful with who you llove. they yell all the time and they always say they arent goin to divorce because of us(the children)i just sayumm tell ur mom.id have to pull thru but when i find sumthing really tough to say i write it down in a letter. Im shy too and a very closed person so i get where youre coming from