This is for girls only?

Question

Please don't laugh at this question or say rude things to me. Guys tell me I am a gorgeous girl...I have blonde hair and blue eyes and keep myself in shape. I am also very feminine and stylish. I never had a problem finding dates. Prob is, I am 31 years old, and lately, seems all of a sudden, I feel attracted TO OTHER GIRLS and not men. I catch myself checking hotties out and fantasize about them. I used to think this was gross when others talked about bi girls or whatever. Thing is, I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship, and 10 years ago, I was in a physically abusive relationship. Could it be that the pain men have caused me has caused me to be this way now? What is wrong with me and what do I do about it? I am catching myself dying to be with another girl to find out what it is like. Help me!

Answer 1

Do you hate men?, are you totally disgusted by them? Have  you always not enjoyed being with a man that treated you well. With respect, was there one that treated you well?  So you don't think Bi/Les girls are gross anymore and you have Fantasies about girls too? Was this immediately after you ended your second abusive relationship? Was it there immediately at the end of your first abusive relationship? Was it there when or after you possiblly dated a man that was not abusive? Was it gradual, did it increase more and more? Did the feelings disappear, if so suddenly when you got into a relationship or gradually when you were about to get into one. You maybe thinking of it subconsciously. Our subconscious minds basicly go over what we did and learnt in the past, noticing details we didn't consciously, and make assumptions based on it. You might not feel ready to go back to a man due to fear of abuse again, and feel safer with a woman. Try being with another woman and see how you feel. And the major thing that influences how a man feels sexually is not in his pants but his head, just to clear that up :-)

Answer 2

I sometimes get sick of men, especially the men who post here, but it NEVER makes me think that I am attracted to females.  You are probably just bi-sexual, but you never had a chance to find out until now.

Answer 3

I think you should go see a therapist. They can help you work out what your feeling and move on to a place you want to be.

Answer 4

I'm changing my answer; I've read your other questions and answers and you're not a teenage boy.  But there's still something about your question that doesn't ring true.  You aren't a "girl"; you're a woman and should be proud of that.  Most of us are.  And the fact remains:  emotional trauma does not lead to homosexuality, a fact which you do not seem to know.

Answer 5

It may be that your attraction to women has been dormant for the past 31 years and is now rising to the surface. If you want to see other girls, go for it.

Answer 6

if it makes you feel happy find out what it's like, if you're seriously creeping yourself out because your having thoughts about it and really don't like the idea then your not bi or a L*****n

you could try and find a nice guy. their not all abusive

Answer 7

Living single is tough and what you are describing is a result of loosing you partner, especially since you are meant to be married.

All I can think of is try to stay as busy as possible doing contructive things and socializing a lot and going to church a lot

Answer 8

Before I was married, I always dated both genders. I wanted a traditional marriage so I married my husband. We have a wonderful marriage, but I do still find women attractive.

If you're having these feelings you should explore them. I first time you're alone with a woman you'll know if it for you or not.

But I would add this, not all men are bad or abusive. My husband treats me like a queen and appreciates me, I could trust him in any situation.

You may need to raise your standards and you'll find a better caliber of man.

Answer 9

I would hold off on all relationships because you seem to go in for bad ones.

I would seek some help in finding out why I am with abusive people -- church, shrink, support group, ect. There are all kinds of resources out there if you ask around.

Try get yourself stable and then a better relationship should be much easier.

If you still want to try all little girl on girl, go for it, and (at the risk of seeming insensitive to your troubles), please invite me along. Just joking... unless you're cool with it.

Answer 10

jeeze, some of the answers you have gotten are so sick, they make me so mad.  How dare these men come on here with these answers referring to s*x.  And how dare this grey haired know-it-all come on here and give her 2 cents.  We come on answers to get help.  Yes some come on here asking questions as a joke.  We cannot insult on here.  I think men have treated you in such a way that you are sick of it.  And this answer by this creature above is no exception.  Men CAN be abusive, and many guys use girls, and hurt them etc.  I think your past experiences have made you sort of dislike men in such a way that you long for the gentle touch of another girl.  I sometimes find myself checking out hotties as well.  Nothing wrong with how you feel.  I say try it out.  Do what makes YOU happy.  And if staying away from the male creature is it, then more power to ya sister.