This is insane. What should I do??HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! URGENT!!!!?

Question

Im madly, deeply and crazily in love with my teacher! I know this is insane and I've tried to forget about her but she's not getting outta my mind. There wouldn't be a minute where I'd stop thinking about her because she never gets off my mind. There is just something about her eyes. I just melt when I look into them. I don't know what it is. And I think she knows that I like her cus I know I kind make it obvious. I mean come on, I've always felt that teacher student relationships are disgusting. I mean, its disgusting to think about an older person. But she's just so different, she's just so amazing and she's just wonderful. There isn't a minute where I'd stop thinking about her. I know, she's the one. Its not for the physical appearance of hers. She's quite old. ITs just about her eyes/heart. Please don't say its a crush because I know the difference between crush and love. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? WHAT SHOULD I DO?

No harsh comments please

Answer 1

A teacher getting involved with a student is hugely unethical on the part of the teacher.  So unless you're a grad student, save your feelings until you're no longer in this teacher's level of schooling.  Then see.

Answer 2

This isn't love. Love is a mature feeling, and this isn't. Love can wait, love can be patient and love can weather all kinds of situations. Love can put its money where its mouth is, so to speak. You don't have a relationship--you are a student and she is your teacher.

But let's not quibble over terms. You have these deep feelings and you want to know what to do. I can sum it up for you in one word: NOTHING. Keep this to yourself.

Here's why: you make a move and she gets fired. No one will believe her, and they'll have to "protect" you. You are a minor. She is an adult. It will be her fault. That's what the LAWS say. And the law is there to protect students against unscrupulous teachers taking advantage of students. Even if she managed to convince everyone that you started it, she will STILL BE LEGALLY AT FAULT. And she will be jailed, shamed, humiliated and never get another teaching job anywhere. Is that what you wish for her?

You cannot be "the one" for her. And she cannot be "the one" for you. You say you don't want harsh comments, but you NEED harsh comments. Don't ruin HER life over your own hormonal surges! That would be mean, cruel and completely AGAINST what you say you feel for her.

I'm not going to make any comments about why you feel this way. I will tell you this: almost EVERYONE feels this way about someone inappropriate for them at least once in theif lifetime, and if you act on it, you'll ruin it--you absolutely will. It's not fair, but that's the way life works. YOU GET OVER IT. Seriously--you do.

My suggestion is to make yourself as UNavailable as possible--have as little contact as you can--avoid her except in class, avoid outside contact, distract yourself from brooding on it, and USE YOUR BRAIN and not other parts of yourself (that have no brains.) You will be amazed at how quickly this feeling will fade and how GOOD you will feel for not having made a complete fool of yourself, or for having done something you can't UN-do.

If you really DO love her, then consider what your feelings would do TO her--not FOR her. That's what real love does. You aren't the one. You just aren't. It can't work, and it SHOULDN'T work. Leave the woman alone. Get far away and try to gain some perspective.

Note: if you were both adults, I'd say GO for it--but you aren't--only SHE is, and she'll be the one who pays for your foolishness--so leave her be.

Oh, and one more thing: your statement that it is "disgusting" to think about an older person is very offensive to anyone who is older. You'll be old soon enough, pal--so I'd watch the karmic buildup here. One day, some young thing will call you disgusting and you'll know what I mean.

Just words to the wise.

Answer 3

I feel sorry for her.  If she dares be kind to you in any way, it could lead to her being charged with a crime.  And the worst part of all is that a prosecutor would manipulate you into testifying against her.  She would end up in jail and hating herself for being a fool, while you are running around with everyone calling you a poor victim because of your age.

If you do get brave and tell her how you feel, I hope she has the courage to aim the beautiful eyes at you and explain it the same way I just explained it.  If you are a good-looking teen, she could be tempted.  I hope she will let her brain do the talking, and not her heart.  The law in all states is cruel to the teacher in any teacher-student relationship.  She could get hurt bad.

Answer 4

Make sure that you eat breakfast before you go to school, and make sure your clothes and self are all nice and clean everyday. Then, you can rule out things like allergy or low blood sugar. That should help your equilibrium. Then lots of kids get crushes on their teachers. However for your own sake try to tone the crush down, because you will get over it. Have a good day.

Answer 5

Let it go!! You don't want to open that can of worms. Just trust me (I'm a teacher as well)....LET IT GO!!! Find someone else to grow an infatuation for.

Answer 6

wow....

Answer 7

Calm down.  You have an intense admiration for her, but it's not the same as a romantic/sexual attraction.  "There are as many different types of love... as there are moments in time." (Jane Austen)  

You have admitted that you aren't physically attracted to her; instead, you are drawn to her personally.  This is an admiring, worshipping sort of love.

It's okay to admire and idolize someone, as long as you keep in under control.  Remember, wonderful as she is, she is only human, so she is imperfect and has flaws and characteristics that you may not understand.  Recognize that you love her specific *traits* (her kindness, her wisdom, etc), not the entire person (let's face it, you only know her teacher side, not her personal side).

The reason you are freaked out about this is because you have a limited experience with love.  I know that's not what you want to hear, but it isn't meant to be belittling or condescending - you're young and simply haven't had the time to develop a wide range of experience.  The love you're capable of now is very different from the love you were capable of 5 years ago, and what you will be capable of 5 years from now, so don't assume that your current perception of love is the whole story.

What should you do?  Take her off the pedestal - treat her as a role model, not an idol.  Realize that your connection is one-sided, and your interest is obsessive and therefore unhealthy.  When you think about her, try to redirect your thoughts to another subject, and keep doing that until you succeed.    

Answer 8

Please transfer out of the class. You teacher cannot and should not encourage such a relationship, and if you continue your feelings, there will come a time when he will be compelled to tell you. Avoid the pain of such a moment and pull yourself away. It is something that simply cannot be. Both of you will be hurt by such a relationship. Do the right thing.

Answer 9

Its okay for a girl to feel these things your teacher is an inspiring figure, thats why you love her....Sad but true.

Answer 10

Your feelings are quite normal and common; however, you shouldn't say anything to your teacher. Talk to a school counselor or a therapist. You need to talk your feelings out in a safe environment, not cause awkwardness between you and your teacher. Trust me.

Answer 11

Oh jesus, no hard feelings but, she is a teacher; and girls look for

men who have a nice job, or are around their age....she wouldn't really

want to date/ or marry her student. Keep that in mind, and there are

plenty of  other women out there, for when you get married; remember that....Try to think of her as a mother, rather than a girlfriend/wife,

and think of her age, and remember that when your around 30 or something, she'll be like 50-60 or something....

Worry about your school and what you want to do in your life as

an adult, rather than girls, and love..

because, girls will come and go....you need to wait for the true love...

so stop crushin, or hitting or whatever u want to call it, on elder woman..

trust me...they don't want you...your just a student to them...  

Answer 12

Do Nothing!   Stop and think about the consequences for a moment.  If you make a pass and get rejected how are you going to continue going to school every day and living a normal life?  It will be terribly uncomfortable for both of you, not to mention if word leaked (which it has a way of doing) the whole school would know.   Go on and day dream, but keep this to yourself for now.  After you graduate if you still feel the same you can always go back and look her up.  

Answer 13

Everyone on this page is right, but me.

I say go for the gusto.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Just don't flip out if she says no.

Now go freshen your lipstick, brush your teeth, and jump in.

Answer 14

what, your L*****n??