This is kind of a mature question.

Question

All right, before I start off, this is seriously about a FRIEND. So please, no lectures to me. If you lecture I will direct them to her, but be aware this is not me, so lecturing me is wasting your time.

My Muslim friend has a husband who works long hours. And she works too, so they don't really get much time together. And when they are together, they are too tired for physical husband-wife time if you know what I mean. They only get to "be together" about once a week, but that is not enough for her.

So she was wondering...in that case, is self pleasure permissible? Since her husband is rarely home?

Please, no silly or offensive answers. I tried to keep this question as mature and worded it as "delicately" as possible. Please respect that is a mature situation and deserves mature consideration.

Answer 1

no it's not ...doing with husband or opposite s*x (mahram) is permissible but doing alone is a sin

Answer 2

I think there is lack of communication although he may be working away he still needs to satisfy her, so she should speak to him about the issue!

Answer 3

Most certainly.  A lot of people actually are able to satisfy themselves better this way.  And it is truly a part of nature so there should not be any form of stigma attached to this form of self satisfaction.

Answer 4

In short, there are 2 opinions.   One says masturbation is not haram, the other says its equivalent to adultery.   So its either no big deal or a really really big one.  

Both arguments are supported, but i personally feel the one making it adultery actually self-destructs.  

I'd google "islam masturbation" ...you'll see lots of links to both sides of the argument.  

***************

If masturbation is indeed haram, this is the verse that would make it so.   I did some copy and paste action from a site that does mention both sides....so i'll include that too.

But in this there are 3 rulings.

Haram,   Haram/Halal depending on circumstance, and halal.  

“The only legal text used as evidence for the prohibition of masturbation is Allah’s saying describing the believers: “Those who guard their sexual organs except with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors.” (Al-Mu'mun: 5-7)

Commenting on this verse, some scholars hold the view that this habit (masturbation) falls under the category of those who seek fulfillment of their sexual desires outside the framework of marriage, and as such they are deemed transgressors. Those scholars put masturbation under the list of the forbidden categories of sexual fulfillment since it constitutes transgression of boundaries. This view is held by the Shafi`ites (followers of the Shafi`i school of Fiqh).

However, some other scholars believe that the transgression meant in the aforementioned verse refers to extra-marital relations and what falls under the category of Zina (adultery). According to this view, masturbation does not fall under the meaning of this verse. This view is very close to the opinion held by the Hanafites (followers of the Hanafi school), who maintain that masturbation is basically forbidden, but it may be permissible under the following conditions:

1. if the person is unmarried,

2. if he or she fears that without masturbation he/she will commit Zina, and

3. if the masturbation here is, rather than fulfilling a sexual desire, just to release the sexual tension resulting from stimulation.

Answer 5

the husband being 'rarely' at home does not make something that is forbidden become permissible. They should try to find a way around this problem...maybe sacrifice some of the time they spend on other things once or twice a week for some intimacy.

If she is unable to hold herself, she should fast. But this is a temporary solution. They eventually must set sometime for each other to develop their relationship or else they are going to face a lot of other problems.

If this is happening now, what will happen down the line if they end up having a child?

Answer 6

"self Pleasure* means masturbating oneself is considered to be haram in Islam.

Even doctors of today's medical science said, its not good for anyone who masturbates psychologically as well as it weakens the nervous system. and if this becomes her habit, then next time when she will sleep with her husband, she will loose her natural sexual desire to be fulfilled by her husband.

Allah Says: {And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame; But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors;} [23:5-7].

So, ask your friend to discuss this with her husband. they can have it atleast once a week. something is better than nothing. but she should discuss this with her husband. fear Allah and make her husband understand.and pray to Allah to make it easy for her and for her husband as well.

Rest Allah knows the best~!

Answer 7

Self pleasure should always be permissable.

Answer 8

"Self Pleasuring" is a practise that is as acceptable as the beliefs of the person contemplating it.

No other opinion matters.

Answer 9

it's haram. avoided to ur strength. but if u had a moment that you don't have no choice. if u were in a situation that will put you either to have s*x or m********e, then i think m********e is better.

but what i mean is be honest with God and fight ur desire to the best limit. !!!

Answer 10

bottom line is they have to make time for their intimate moments.  It is likely that her husband is also unsatisfied with the current situation so they really need to have a direct and honest discussion of the matter.  

life is chaotic I know, but I do not think her solution will solve the problem long term.  They have to reconnect as a couple and make sure they are both satisfied with their physical relationship.  

Answer 11

I think its permissable whether her husband is always gone or not.

It's a perfectly natural and healthy thing to do. I would tell her to not be ashamed of it and to have fun with it. I understand that religous beliefs are strong, but they are not always right.

Also, if I was her I would voice my concerns to him. Perhaps, a new arrangement needs to be made. I wouldn't want that once a week to turn into every other week and then once a month and so on. A sexless marriage is a bad one, in my opinion.

Answer 12

It is permissible for a partner to, you could say 'm********e' their partners. So she should really speak to her husband about this. I'm sure by gratifying her in this way will not be a 'physical' burden upon him.

Some scholars argue, if masturbation will prevent you from going out there and doing the dirty deed, then this is permissible. Do you reckon your friend will cheat, or go elsewhere for s*x if she doesn't get the required s*x from her husband? It's really a wife and husband issue, he should understand her needs, and if he can't keep up with these, then he needs to take up viagra or something.

Answer 13

her husband should be the source of her pleasures, it is with him she should resolve things, thats my best advice, hes her husband, flirt and demand attention, he most definitly wont deny if she tries hard enough

Answer 14

If I say that it is prohibited in Islam,the answer will be so hateful by others ,but I will prove it to you and your friend that it is not Permissible .

"From the Shari`ah point of view, a wife has the right to conjugal relations the same way the husband has. It is NOT allowed for the husband to deny his wife this right, as it is one of the basic rights of the wife in the Islamic marriage. That is why the scholars have said that if someone is unable to practice sexual relations at all, the wife has the right to seek divorce.

However, the situation in your case is different, as you have a child and problems between you and your husband have to be resolved in a wiser way.

Besides, you didn’t mention how long he stays away from you. In the narration from `Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) the maximum period of staying away from one’s wife is six months, after which the person will be considered sinful.

As for masturbation, it is not allowed in your case, and what you have mentioned cannot be considered a ground for it, especially when we see that it contradicts with the verse in which Allah says: “And who guard their modesty. Save from their wives or the (slaves) that their right hands possess, for then they are not blameworthy.

023.007 But those whose desires exceed those limits are transgressors"

Al-Qur'an, 023.5-6-7 (Al-Mumenoon [The Believers])

In general, it is not allowed for your husband to abandon you or deny you this right. However, I would advise you to speak with your husband frankly and never be shy from him because you are demanding your right.”

Answer 15

At least she has "it" once a week.

What about poor single folks like me that never have it?

It doesn't make it permissible even for us single lonely soles to m********e.

But wow thanks for sharing this. I didn't know my sisters had this problem !