This is my first attempt at poetry. what do you think? ?

Question

i see threw small eyes the hurt,the fears, the cries. people running around getting trampled to the ground. in my small world i have no fear.

Answer 1

Love it...you keep going girl!!  

Answer 2

What can I say...Such BIG words from such a small world...And for Her next trick....

Answer 3

I like it.. This is how it sounds when I read it. It is a start and you only can do better if you keep trying.

. ***********************************

I see

Through small eyes

The hurt, the fears, the cries

People running around

Getting trampled to the ground

In my small world

I have no fear.

************************

You can do the poetry thing if you think you can. Here is a good thing to remember:

Never mind the criticism that comes without direction for improvement

Answer 4

It's very good.  Playing with words is cool.

Like "throw someone a look" or "throw a glance"....  you can throw a leg, so you can throw an eye..pl. throw two eyes... past tense :  threw small eyes  .... if you go vertical you can mess with "rules"

i see

threw small eyes

the hurt

the fears

the cries

Answer 5

I for one think it is quite excellent. You have potential keep at it you will get better and better.BRAVO

Answer 6

"Threw" is spelled "threw".

You may have wanted a different word there, but the spelling is correct.

Huge potential.

Shorten the lines when you feel you should by saying them out loud.

Very nice.

Answer 7

Keep going!

It gave me some imagery in my mind's eye, from you words.

That's a good mark of a poem.

Answer 8

'Threw' is spelled 'through'.

Answer 9

Threw is spelt through. I like it, it has a lot of potential. Maybe you could write about why they have no fear.  

Answer 10

i like it, and it shows you have no fear to put it out here to be critiqued.  

Answer 11

It is interesting.  I say "Keep writing."

Answer 12

Very good even thought the other lady said you spelled through wrong. Pay no mind to that cause i knew what it meant. You say you see through a child in their eyes the fears and their cries and people being trampled to the ground.Sounds like a disaster happened. Its scary for us adults as well. THat was good Hip.

Answer 13

Not bad really. With a little work it could be better. I can't write poetry myself, so I enjoy the efforts of others. I think it's cute. LOL

Answer 14

beats any c**p i ever tried to write

Answer 15

Bless you for your first attempt

You MOST CERTAINLY can do the poetry thing, sweet lady!

Please keep writing and share more of your heart.

ma

Answer 16

I like it..thanks for that..more more..

Answer 17

That hit home for me!Keep writing please,I need to know whats next!

Answer 18

You made your vision clear, that's what it is all about. I admire your bravery for putting yourself out there.