This is one of my poems what do you think?

Question

Bam

A single shot rings through the air

Not a bullet but an arrow

With a head dipped in poison

Poison with your name

I'm thrown to the ground

By the force of the shot

As the arrow pierces my skin

The poison seeps in

I lay stretched out on the grass

My eyes fill with tears

That find escape down my cheek

I watch the sky as it turns black

The wind begins to blow

The wind is met with frost

Which turns into snow

My tears turn to ice

My breathe begins to slow

I can feel the poison taking over

Ive become the cold

What do you think? what do you think its about?

Answer 1

Thee poem,

Action,

Thriller,

Is all included,

All I could say,

Remarkable.

Thee poem,

Fluent,

With all the actions playing in my head,

All I could say remarkable.

       Good poetry,however,it is some kind of action story.

Answer 2

AIRLYNN-

That is the most in depth poem about dying I've read since I've become a member last year!! It's got the knockout punch at the end too! I LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART. One line is a little drawn out:

That find escape down my cheek. I'd change it to...

Escaping down my cheek so that your metre isn't thrown off!

Thump!

A shot rings through the air

Not a bullet but an arrow

The tip dipped in poison

Inking out your very name

I'm thrown to the ground

By a piercing force of the shot

Layers of muscle and skin

The poison seeping in

Stretched out on the grass

It does it's dirty work

My eyes fill with tears

Escaping down my cheek

To watch the sky turn hollow and black

Whispering winds begin to blow

The wind is met with frost

Which turns into snow

My tears are frozen ice

My breathe begins to slow

I can feel the poison taking over

Like weather I turned cold.

Be more descriptive and use adjectives instead of prepositions to tell a more colorful story. I enjoy your work and look forward to seeing more in the future... Grade  A

Answer 3

No ! Sorry my little friend.

Take care.

There is danger at every step in this life. We are very fortunate that we are not these material bodies but eternal spiritual beings that do not die when the body dies.

GOURANGA GOURANGA GOURANGA

Answer 4

This poem makes my eyes bleed

This is not what I like to read

You are obviously in pain

If good is the sun, your poem is rain.

PS. I think your poem is about menstruation in February of a leap year.