This is regarding a child a i had at 17...?

Question

when i was 17 i had a son,i had never been around babies and so i gave it my all.....but soon my mother interfered and i lost him i was thrown outt athe house and i didn't know what to do. anyways hes back in my life but hes in my moms custody. my question is hes haveing some serious issues with his behavior. hes very out of control and hes mean to his 2 yr old sister an he tells me hes going to kill me an his grandma..i had someone tell me this could be from fetal alchohol syndrom....i did drink alot while pregnant. he has trouble paying attention in school , we are worried things will get worse he has had 2 seizures in his life due to fever. he doesn't listen to anyone when told what to do.....just wondering how we could handle this because me and my mother both don't know what to do , hes having a very negative effect on my 2 yr old

Answer 1

You need to have him diagnosed by a doctor for fetal alcohol syndrome. Most children with fetal alcohol syndrome often have learning disabilities, developmental delays and some certain physical disabilities. Often, they are easily agitated and have many behavior problems. I used to babysit a boy with it and he was known throughout many daycares as completely out of control and a "problem child". He was taken away from his father (due to domestic abuse) and was eventually diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome. Please, do it for you and the safety of your daughter!

Answer 2

Take him to your Pediatrician. They can help you find a counselor or psychiatrist, and help you find parenting classes too. Because it is not all the kids fault we need to know how to teach them how to be good people.

In the mean time. when you tell him no, stick to it, don't give in

put him in time-out if he runs away put him back-- but don't hit him--you can't do things to him if you don't want him to do it to his sister.

Try to get him to put himself in her place.  Ask him "Do you feel bad when someone treats you mean? Do you like it? Then don't do it to your sister."

Your son may also need some medication, but don't listen to the horror stories of someone else who's kid didn't do well with medicine your child is different and may react different. Only your doctor can help you decide.

My son was on Adderall (for ADD) when he was little, now is 14 and stopped taking it when he was 12. He is fine and it did him good. But I had to do my part as a parent to help him know how to study and pay attention.

Answer 3

One thing I wanted to mention is, those seizures and the possible FAS may have nothing to do with one another. Some kids (yup, even otherwise perfectly healthy ones) have what they call febrile seizures when they get a high fever. It doesn't necessarily mean they have epilepsy or anything, just that their brain is having a hard time handling the elevated body temperature. Think of it like a computer that shuts itself down when it's too hot.

Just a side thing I wanted to mention.

Answer 4

He is jealous of his sister.Try to do things with him one on one.He needs to go see a thyrapist,he he is talking about killing you and your mom he may do it while the two of you are sleep.Get him on some kind of medication.I drank thru my whole pregnacy with my oldest child.I was 17,because of that he has a short attention spand and he can't stand to sit still too long or he gets bored and won't do class work.

Answer 5

First off call and check around for a child phychiatrist and get your son in asap.  While part of it may be fetal alcohol syndrome there is also the chance that he is looking at you "raising" his sister and you threw him away..........no not the truth but is in a childs mind.  This could cause a lot of anger and control issues with a child as well as depression.  if you can not find one then go to the pediatrician and tell them all of it and they will get you to someone who can help.  you do not say how old he is but if he is in school then he knows his life is different, his friends live with mom he lives with grandma.  It can all be resolved but it will take time and lots of love and patience.