This is terrible for me to deal with...any suggestions?

Question

I serve as a father-figure and mentor for a boy in his late teens. I have a wife and two young sons, and between that, my job, and helping others, it's very difficult finding time to spend with him. I know he really needs me, and he even confessed to me that recently, he has started feeling the need to detach from me for fear that I'll let him down. He's afraid I'll disappoint him, so he's beginning to be aloof with me. He won't approach me to talk as often as he used to, and doesn't call me nearly as much. I don't want to lose him, but it's difficult for me to be with him as often as he needs. I'm on the verge of losing him, and I haven't yet redeemed myself. If he completely detaches from me, I don't know what he'll do. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

sit down with him, your family and a mediator/family counselor.  

Answer 2

You don't have time, he's getting older, this is kinda normal.

Sit down with him and have a man to man talk, ask him what's going on in his life, how you can help with your increasingly limited time.

Set a time for an hour or two, once a month, (or every two weeks), to have lunch, get together....whatever.

Make yourself available by phone for emergencies.

If he's late teens, he's almost legally an adult, he'll appreciate you treating him more like a man

Luck

Answer 3

How wonderful that you chose to be a part of this boy's life. To make time for him is very important to his ego and well-being. Maybe he could join you on some of your volunteering missions, or spend an hour with your family once a week. Try to fit 2-3 hours a week into your schedule for him. If you make it a commitment, then it can happen. I commend you for trying to make a positive contribution to a child that needs it. Good luck!