This is the start of my poem....?

Question

Sitting on her rooftop

With all the pouring rain

Time has seemed to stop

But she will still remain

Sitting on her rooftop

The world spinning around

The rain will never stop

It pours to the ground

Sitting on her rooftop

Singing softly to the beat

The music will never stop

It continues to repeat

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that is the start of my poem. what do you think? is it good? bad? its about me, and a real situation.

do you like it so far, or should i start over?

Answer 1

i really like that :)

its great !

did you add more to it yet?

Answer 2

I like it. It reminds me of houston.

Answer 3

sitting on her rooftop

with all the pouring rain

time is standing still

but she will still remain

sitting on her rooftaop

the world is spinning round

the rain is ever raining

it is spilling to the ground

sitting on her rooftop

singing softly to the beat

the music is never ending

it continues and repeats

It reminds me of this:

I hear the drizzle of the rain

like a memory it falls

soft and warm continuing

tapping on my roof and walls.

And from the shelter of my mind

Through the window of my eyes

I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets

To England where my heart lies

My mind's distracted and diffused

My thoughts are many miles away

They lie with you when you're alseep

And kiss you when you start your day

And a song I was writing is left undone

I don't know why I spend my time

Writing songs I can't believe

With words that tear and strain to rhyme

And so you see I have come to doubt

All that I once held as true

I stand alone without beliefs

The only truth I know is you

And as I watch the drops of rain

Weave their weary paths and die

I know that I am like the rain

There but for the grace of you go I

sorry, but that last verse you added sounds cheesy!!