This is very personal, & please dont down me or judge me.?

Question

All the females in my family got pregnant at a young age, and i'm boy crazy so they always say how im going to get pregnant at 16 [ im almost 15], and it kinda hurts but im afraid it might happen. Im not really sexually active, but im not a virgin. & lately ive been thinking about kids and how much i want one. I dont know what to do !! My boyfriend is 16, and he's been thinking about a baby too. I dont wanna get pregnant because i wanna prove my family wrong, but from the looks of things it might happen. I dont wanna get pregnant, and he leave me or something, but i dont think he's that type. Im just confused as what to do, so could any ladies help me out and tell me what you think.

Answer 1

This is YOUR CHOICE. You make it sound like it's a done deal, but it isn't.

YOU chose to use contraception, YOU chose whether you even sleep with your boyfriend.

Wait a while, see the world, do the things you want to do because once you do have a baby, you won't be able to do them then!

Answer 2

You have your whole life ahead of you darlin'. You have many years to be able to make the decision of whether you want kids, and I think you don't realize how tough it really is. I'm sure you've heard it's tough, but you don't know it.

I suggest highly that you get yourself on some sort of birth control as soon as you can if you really want to prevent pregnancy.

And please - be a kid for a while. Youth is so fleeting, and you should enjoy it while you can.

Be careful, be safe, and let yourself be a kid. Don't have one. Not yet.

Answer 3

I am 12, i have s*x with my boyfriend all the time, i wanna have a child soon, (16) but i'm wondering weather its such a good idea, being 16 would take away my teen years, having to look after a baby, notbeing able to go out with friends and have a good time, it think you should really alk it over with your boyfriend befor you make the life changing decision. Hope i helped you even though im young. Im 13 in 12 days. haha hope i helped anyway. xx good luck

Answer 4

If you are confused (and 16!) don't get pregnant. Your boyfriend is too young to understand what he is getting himself into and really you are too. Nobody knows how hard it is being a parent until it actually happens, its impossible to be prepared. I had my first baby at 20 and if it had have been planned I would have waited probably until now when I am 23. I am really not trying to be judgemental but if you decide to have a baby at 16 you are really not doing that baby any favours.

Answer 5

I think you should wait if your boyfriend loves you and wants one too whats wrong with waiting it makes it even more worth while, Prove them wrong by being head smart and waiting until after school/college etc and then all your focusing would be on your baby then. But now is too soon and you have still got a lot of your youth to enjoy why not enjoy your youth and then enjoy parenthood later

Answer 6

Hi. I'm glad you reached out to us. No judgments here.  Having a baby is difficult for people in their 30s.  At 15 (almost) you don't have the skills, income, maturity or the education to raise a child.  This is not a put down at all, it's reality. Just because other family members have done that, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. You will make your life much harder if you do. Your boyfriend is not mature or financially stable enough to provide for you.  Wait until you have graduated high school, graduated college, get a great career, get married to a mature financially stable man, and THEN have as many kids as you want.  You will only live in poverty if you do it your way.

Answer 7

Raising a baby is a very hard responsibility. Even harder if your partner does leave you and you are on your own. If you have feelings for someone as strong as what you say, then I suggest thinking about this hard and talking to you boyfriend about it a bit more. You have to be sure that he's the one for you, and that your trust is completely with him.. If it's not... then it could turn out to be a mistake. 15 is a very young age to get pregnant though. You should just wait a few years ATLEAST and see what your partner thinks. Also how long have you been with your boyfriend? Trust takes about a year, or even more... So I wouldnt take any risks until you're completely sure.

Hope I helped! xx

Answer 8

well, are you financially independent? how do you feel growing up? do you want your child to go through the same thing?

there are many precautions you can take to prevent that from happening. 15 is way too young to become a mother. how are you going to take good care of your child? i believe all mothers will want to provide the best for their child. so until you can do so, hold the baby plan.

cheers

Answer 9

you need to wait..for oh so many reasons. you will be so happy to have your child at the right time in your life. if the baby comes when you are still young yourself, things will be SO stressful and messed up for you, seriously. please please be careful and WAIT!!

Answer 10

the best thing for you is to wait...that way you can have a life and travel or study or work or just have fun!!  many woman of all ages think about babies from time to time, it doesnt mean you are ready!!  I think the baby will have a much nicer life if you have also enjoyed your life and you are financially secure!!!   and I know you love your boyfriend but there is no guarentee he will stick around when the kid is screaming all day and night!!!  boys at that age no matter how mature they seem still are not mature enough to be fathers...they can be very selfish as well..you wont see it right now, but trust me its much better to wait!!  good luck and pls dont rush it

Answer 11

It's quite natural once you get to a certain age to start wanting a baby-I walk past prams all the time and think I would so love one of those, before snapping myself out of it. Me and my sister have come to the conclusion it must just be your body telling you you're physically ready.

Borrow someone's baby for a day, and you'll see how hard it is. It's normal to get broody, but just keep reminding yourself that you're only fifteen; it isn't a race.

Think of all the things you won't be able to do with a kid; basically your life as you know it would be over. You wouldn't be able to finish your education, go out with friends...just keep reinforcing to yourself that it's not really what you want, even if your body is telling you that you do.

Answer 12

First of all, children at 16 is ridiculous.

But, before it happens;

Since you're already sexually active, please try and be as safe as possible. Contraceptives (condoms), the birth control pill, anything to prevent a possible baby and/or STD's.

While I'm not judging you, think about having a child before you bring one into the world.

- Are you emotionally ready? Children are the mentally challenging responsibilities you can take on. They're not to be taken lightly.

- Where will you live? You can't plan on raising your child in your parents house forever. You can't put that on your parents as it's you and your boyfriend's decision to have a child. It's not fair to them to financially put them out.

- What will your source of income be? Are you planning on being a stay at home mother while your boyfriend is the decided "bread winner"? How much is daycare (if not)? Baby supplies?

There are MANY more subjects to be dealt with in taking care of a child, and while your family has a history of becoming pregnant young; is that really a legacy you want to continue? Children are an adult responsibility and an adult decision; are you qualified to take that on yet?

You're 16! My advice to you is take advantage of being a teenager without such a big weight on your shoulders! Live your life! Because once you have a child, going out whenever you want (that includes you and your boyfriend) is out the window.

Also, not that I'm saying your boyfriend is the type (I don't know him), but young men get scared and are prone to leave women whom they get pregnant.  He may think he's ready, but come due time, I believe he'll get stressed out and you're left being a single mother. Single parenting, while admirable, isn't easy in the least.

Just because your family has gotten pregnant early on in the past doesn't mean your destined to. It's not "genetic" that you  start looking at kids and want one. Maybe you just have a lot of love to share and that's prompting you into wanting a child so early on. Just think about all the pros and cons, and approach them in a serious matter to your boyfriend.

Children are a joy and  a blessing, but at the right time in your life. Don't get too ahead of yourself and try to grow up too fast.

Answer 13

There is absolutely no reason to believe you will follow in the footsteps of your family.  Just by writing this question it shows you are aware of the implications having a baby at a very young age has.  Yes, the idea of a gorgeous little baby of your own is wonderful, BUT,  so is the idea of an education, a career and the financial independence to bring a baby into a world where it has a wonderful home to live in, with happy fulfilled parents to take care of it.  Stick to your guns and wait.  Not to prove your family wrong, but to prove to yourself that you know what is right for you and having a baby now isn't.  Make sure you are fully protected EVERY time you have s*x (or better still, don't have s*x) and be proud to want more from life.