This just sucks...my parents are depressed?

Question

Both of my parents are 50 and my dad is just so depressed. We moved here five years ago and ever since then, hes been so depressed, sad, he doesnt have any friends here, no buddies. they live outstate.

we're trying to sell our house, and their job but tis nearly impossible and my dad said he wants to kill himself even though he ahs a great family of six kids. theres really nothing i can do too. i told him i love him , i've talked to him, we tried gettign him otu the house for fathers day but he was just so depressed. we cant afford a therapist or whatever. this is killin me man, any advice?

Answer 1

I'm sure your father loves you and your brothers and sisters. Keep talking to him and continue to tell him you love him. Treat him like the baby of the family and make time for him. Try to get the point across that YOU are his reason to continue to live.

Also, try talking to your school counselors and see if they can help you find help for him.

If this has something to do with your home mortgage, try to do some research for him on negotiating with his lender so that your payments can be lower.

Answer 2

i know how u feel. my dad's going on 50 this yr and my mom' going on 46. they got in a HUGE fight cuz my dad just found out that my mom waz "with" another guy (while they were married) and he didn't take it good at ALL! (obvioulsy!) they fight almost every night (very loudly) and they considered divorce MULTIPLE times! some how they managed to pull thro it and stay together but rite now they're both on anti-depressants! i guess the only thing u can do rite now try to be there for him as much as possible. try suggesting to somene that ur dad (and ur mom too if she needs it!) both try getting some medication for depression! i really hope i helped, and don't worry cuz i've beenthrough it too! its tough but it'll all be ok

Answer 3

DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!!!!!! Its nothing you have done. It will be okay! Really it should be. Just go talk to someone you trust and have them get your father some help. Where is your mother? Well good luck!!

Answer 4

Most likely he is going through a sort  of mid-life crisis and that's whats causing his depression...I'm sorry I can't give you advice..Maybe it's the stress of working and having to come home to 6 kids? It seems a bit stressful having to take care and support 6 kids plus a wife. He might also possibly feel as though his life is a routine, that theres nothing more to his life...Try suprising him with things you remember him finding joy in...

Good luck sorry I couldn't be more help..

Answer 5

Oh no, I'm so sorry for you and your father.

Do you have the phone numbers of any of his close friends? If he had any friends he was really close to, like not just buddies, try calling them up and saying, "Hi, it's me, so-and-so's daughter/son. He's been pretty lonely since we moved and I'm thinking he could use someone to talk to. Would you mind giving him a call every so often? I think it might really help him." Hopefully his old friends will follow through and your dad will talk to them. Feeling like he has friends might help him. This will probably only work if he had really close friends, not just buddies. I know it's freaky to call up these random adults, but it might really help your dad.

Another thing you could do is, if you live near a university or something, look into getting your dad into a study group. I live near a big college and in the library on bulliten boards and at the community center, there are always flyers needing depressed people to participate in a study. I'm not kidding. Some of the studies involve stuff like trying out a new kind of therapy or treatment. That might get him free help.

Getting active is a big part of feeling less depressed. Get him to join some adult exercise group. The YMCA has groups like that. If you're not involved with the YMCA, just go jogging with him every so often. Try to get his spirits up.

There might be support groups for depressed people in your area. Look around and make some calls and visit therapists. There are a surprising amount of low-cost options.

When you go for your doctor's checkups, ask your doctor about low-cost options for treating depression. There might be something that could help your dad. And another thing - get him a notebook to use as a journal to write everything down in. Tell him he has to spend at least 20 minutes writing stuff down every day.  Writing is a way of getting his bad feelings out on paper. It's very cleansing.  But don't read what he writes. Respect his privacy.

Also - his self-esteem might suck. He might feel like you are all better off without him. He needs to know that's not true. Tell him you love him every day and give him a hug at least once every two days. He has 6 kids, so that's 3 hugs a day. Don't EVER make offhand comments about how hard he is to deal with or that he's useless. Don't even roll your eyes. He needs to feel needed and loved and wanted, because right now he feels so unloved that he's ready to kill himself, and slight things could really hurt him.

I hope your dad feels better soon. This must be really hard on both you and him

Answer 6

The first thing you need to do is become self-aware of what you can do to make a difference in his life. It is the one thing you actually have control over.

Whatever words you choose to speak make sure you can back them up with actions that display your love and concern.

Be patient with him. He is unable to cope with his life right now.

Write him a letter... tell him all the reasons why you love him and why you are proud he is your dad.

Encourage your family to follow in your footsteps so he can feel their love and support.

... sure he needs professional help, but it seems that is an area where you don't have control... just remember to do what YOU can do to support him..

Answer 7

Get him involved in something. What does he like to do? Find something he is good at or interested in and get him to put himself out there.

Answer 8

There are low or no  cost  facilities for someone that needs emotional help.  I would try and get some help  tell an adult that you trust what the situation is and see if you can get some assistance

Answer 9

Call his Dr.  talk to them.  Maybe they can send someone to your house to talk with him or connect you with help to help in the situation.  I really do hope and pray he receives help and guidance.  My mother was in that same position once and she almost was admitted, but with the help of family continuously supporting her and not giving up, she is doing much better today.  She has her moments, but she is doing much better.  There may be a medical problem that needs to be seen about.  Could be his thyroid or something else.  Call someone, or a hotline and see what you can do, don't give up.  He is too young.  He needs you all.  God Bless and Good luck.  Angela.