Question:

This loneliness won't go away?

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Please help. I am a 19 year old girl who has had depression for 4 years now. I see a physciatrist and take anti-depressants but my loneliness won't go away. It's like I need a guy in my life or I feel so lonely. I try to see friends as much as possible but I don't have many. I'm only happy when I have a bf and I hate guys ruling my life like this. I'm scared to have nothing to do at weekends and thats when the loneliness kicks in. I let a guy treat me badly because I didn't want to be alone and now I have little confidence left with men.

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  1. We all find it really hard in our lives at one time or another. And for some reason human companionship, no matter what kind seems to help. But please don't give up at the first hurdle, their are many good people out there. And even if you can't find that special someone or even a good friend at the moment, you will have plenty of time (you are only 19 :-) ). I hope this helps, and good luck.


  2. Ask yourself: "Why do I feel depressed, and when did I first start to feel this way: can I associate this with any recent change in my life?" (if so, it is probably situational depression: counselling, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is indicated). Or, was it a more gradual thing, with no apparent cause? (nutritional deficiencies, hypothyroidism, environmental toxicity, or reactions to some medications, etc., becomes more likely as the cause).

    Antidepressants work quicker than the following; 2 - 6 weeks, but you may have to adjust dosage, or types, whereas St. John's wort is effective for most people, tolerance doesn't develop, and the few side effects don't occur often, and even then are normally not severe.

    It doesn't cause sleeping problems, or weight change, but usually takes at least 2, and generally 4 - 6 weeks to become effective. A recent, independent German double blind study showed it to be as effective as Sertraline (marketed in the USA as Zoloft: a commonly prescribed antidepressant) in cases of major depression, with far fewer side effects, and those were generally better tolerated, with a lower rate of discontinuation. Unlike antidepressants, where sexual dysfunction is a common side effect, it happens much more rarely with St. John's wort (I have noticed no effect in this area).

    Remember back to a time when life was full of promise, or a day when you felt particularly good, or possibly excited from a good result. Emotional states are associated with memories, and if it isn't major depression, this method can help.

    A multidimensional approach to treating depression without medication follows. All except for no. (7.) are safe to use with medication, but not St. John's wort, because of interactions, and it's sensible to check out anything else first with your doctor.

    (1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it. Also take a vitamin B complex which is certified as being 100% of natural origin; a deficiency in vitamin B9 (folic acid, or folate) is known to cause depression. Around 30% - 40% of depressed people have low vitamin B12 levels. Depressed females using the contraceptive pill may benefit from vitamin B6 supplements. ~~~ (2.) Work up slowly to at least 20 minutes minutes of exercise, daily, or 30 - 60 mns, 5 times weekly. Too much exercise can cause stress, which isn't wanted when dealing with depression. ~~~ (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain).

    (4.) Use daily, a relaxation method* and/or yoga*, and/or Tai Chi. ~~~ (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. ~~~ (6.) Maintain a mood chart, and daily activities schedule. ~~~ (7.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, (the strength varies, but the supplier should be using a standardised hypericin content, so follow the directions) or supplements, such as SAMe, or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55).

    If 5HTP is used to boost serotonin levels, (which are low in depressed people) it is best taken with a high carbohydrate, minimal protein meal, like pasta with tomato & basil, and avoid protein for 90 minutes, before, and after, to maximise the amount crossing the blood/brain barrier.

    Also, 80% of people in the Western world have low magnesium levels, and these are known to cause depression & anxiety. Try the magnesium supplement types shown in http://www.real-depression-help.com/ Some of these will be available in pharmacies, or supermarkets. Low levels of calcium, and potassium can also cause depression. Have your blood tested, and correct any deficiencies, preferably through improved nutrition.

    An improvement can be noticed in as little as a week, if a deficiency is the cause. Also, iodised salt is much preferable to regular salt (one of the treatments in books on depression is iodine drops). Try to imagine, as vividly as possible, a time in the not too distant future, when you have overcome this temporary setback, and things are much better. *View section 2, on the first 3 pages, and also pages R, C, I, and section 11, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Self confidence: section 38. Loneliness: section 9 (will fade with effective depression treatment).

  3. i dont have confidence with women. my last two realatioships i almost got married,. i wasused and cheated on . the last one o ws used and had her kid use me. so yeah im pretty much f---ed as far as realtrionships im not doing much this weekend just trying to find a place to watch UT play. im osrry for this. i always said that i only like a women who will let me treat her well and love me back. i hope this helps good luck

  4. Self love is the answer

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