This might sound dumb, but I'm not a lawyer.?

Question

I had a baby with a guy when I was 16 and he lost his rights shortly after I had her because he refused to keep his visitation appointments. He hasn't seen his daughter since she was 2 and he doesn't call or anything. He lives in the same city we do. I am currently living with my boyfriend and we have one daughter together with a baby boy on the way. We want to get married sometime this year, and when we do, he wants to adopt my oldest. Her biological father pays child support and he's on the birth certificate, but like I said, he has no right to see her nor does he want to. Do I need her biological father to sign her over? How do I go about doing this when the time comes? If he refuses to sign out of spite, can I do something to over turn that decision? I realize I would lose the child support, but that doesn't matter.

Answer 1

Hate to burst your bubble but if he is on the birth certificate and still pays child support, he has not lost his visitation rights.  He would have to sign over his rights.  The only way you could go against him if he refuses is to prove he is a bad father, abusive, etc. and does not pay his child support.

Answer 2

If it doens't matter if you lose the child support that might be how you should approach him on the subject.

He will still need to sign over rights because as the father he is still capable of taking you back to court to attempt to get visitation again if he wanted too.  Talk to a lawyer but when you approach him about this if he has no interest in seeing the baby you might be able to appeal to him on a strictly financial level, "My soon to be husband wants to adopt (insert name) but he can only do that if you sign this paper allowing him to. If you do sign it you would no longer be required to pay child support and she would be the sole responsibility of me and my husband."  

By putting it in terms that might benefit him but not lying to him about it might help smooth things along.

Answer 3

He hasn't lost his rights. He just may not have visitation or exercise the rights to. He is still the father.  But if he thinks it will end child support he would probably sign the papers. It still has to go thru the courts though. Most states you must be married for a year or two before you can do a step parent adoption.

Answer 4

as far as i know he has to sign her over...and if he doesnt then there is no way of your current bf to adopt her that i know of...best of luck

Answer 5

yes, in order to have your boyfriend to adopt your daughter as his own, you would need consent and a signature from your ex. by the sounds of it, it doesnt seem like there is going to be a problem if he doesnt do anything to have her know he's her father. so go to court, get a lawyer and they will tell you the steps from there, and from how i understand from hearing other cases like this, [ i know friends who have had the option of doing what you want ] if he doesnt sign, your boyfriend cant adopt.

Answer 6

check with an attorney to confirm but .. .

Yes, he's still the father whether or not he sees her so he will need to terminate his rights completely and agree to the adoption.  You will lose your child support from him but *if* something were to happen to you and your boyfriend/husband after he adopts her, HE will have to pay child support to you for her.

Good luck!

Answer 7

He's paying support and he's on the birth certificate.

Yes, you would have to get him to sign her over for your fiance to adopt her.  If he won't sign, you can take him to court.

If he doesn't want to see her, chances are he'll just be relieved that he doesn't have to pay support anymore.

Answer 8

Ok, don't even worry about what that one idiot said about how the courts will look into the fact that you're not married and already have two kids.  It's irrelevant.  Plead to the father about the child support issue.  Chances are he will willingly sign over his rights if he knows he will be out of the financial aspect (when I relinquished my youngest daughter at birth, the father's only remark was "Does this mean I only have to pay for one?").  I don't know where that one person was coming from thinking that you not being married yet has any relevance to the issue at hand.  Most courts are aware that it is the twenty-first century.  Apparently, someone is stuck in Ozzy and Harriet land

Answer 9

After you are married go and see a lawyer. He can advise you on what has to be done. The father will have to sign away all rights to the child. It might be helpful to talk to the child's father in advance and see if he is willing to do so. If he already doesn't see the child chances are he will not have a problem with doing this as he will no longer have to pay support. But you can never tell. Good luck

Answer 10

i believe you are probably going to needto get his signature. the sooner you talk to him about it, the better off i think you will be. because if he seems to not want to sign over his rights, you will need to get a lawyer involved. if he doesn't want to see the baby at all, maybe it won't be a big deal and he would have no problem with it, so he doesn't have to pay anymore child support

Answer 11

You will have to get your baby's daddy to agree to sign all rights over for adoption.  But..... remember that if he does this it also makes him not have to pay you anymore child support because he isn't considered the child's father anymore.  If you and your now boyfriend ever split up he will be responsible to pay you child support for the daughter of your ex's.  Also, the court is going to wonder why your wanting someone who is your boyfriend (not even your husband) to assume such responsibility.  They are going to take into consideration that you already had two children out of wedlock and you have another on the way.  This dosent seem to responsable on either of your parts (yours or your current boyfriends).  You might also open a can of worms from your ex and he can order that no man be allowed in your home unless your married (it's in the law-be careful what you go after).