This might sound weird...?

Question

but my boyfriend was terribly abused as a child and because of this i am very attracted to him...i can see the sadness in his eyes and it makes me want to make love to him to help the pain...ok is this some nympho S**t? when i told my best friend about this she told me its called the Florancee Nighingale effect????

Answer 1

your friend might be  right

Answer 2

This is the beginnings of a very poor relationship. A good relationship involves give and take on both ends...when one is "fixing" and the other is "taking" it leads to inequality which isn't healthy. You will find yourself run down and not know why. Is he there when you need him to be or is he too sad to give it his best effort? Anyway, beware. You don't want to find yourself in a relationship a year from now in which you feel run down because you can never "fix" him.  

Answer 3

Be very careful.  You need him to deal with the pain before you do.   Children who are abused learn a few things.  How to manipulate people, How to not connect with people, and How to abuse.  That is very general I know.  Everyone will not do that.  But many will.  The same way you see weakness and pain, he will show others strength and aggressiveness.  He uses his past to control his present.

He needs counseling.  He needs to learn how to relate to people and feel real emotions.  I am saying this because he is using it to control how you feel about him already.  That is not a good sign.

Answer 4

I do not think you like him because he was abused. That is not your motivation of liking him. You like him because you feel bad for him. I do not know if this is a good thing or if this will be good for a sustainable relationship. Good luck.

Answer 5

Florence Nightingale is more likely than nymphomania, which is *entirely* different (and called hypersexuality now. Which might give you a better idea what nympho actually means).

Being attracted to someone *just* because they're hurt and you think you can heal them or want to be the one to heal them is not a good thing, there's a difference between that and being supportive. And you might actually make it worse (if you reward victemhood and feeling hurt by the past with s*x, he might actually get *worse*...). But it's not that uncommon and as long as you actual like and focus on other parts of your relationship you might be ok.

Florence Nightingale effect is the term for attraction towards a patient (or carer) as a result of that relationship (patient/carer)