This one had a really bad first stanza. I just took it out. Is this a poem now?

Question

*****

AMERICAN KU

Pear tree perched swallows,

Feast on flying flutterers,

Cabbage and watercress,

Will not morn the loss,

Of such insatiable appetites.

*****

This is dedicated to all the silly people who think they are writing true Hai'ku in English.

Answer 1

Ha ha ... now DO be careful what you say m'dear.

Answer 2

there is a lot of that English haiku. around . enough that it has its own place now, don't you think?.

foreign haiku, English haiku, non-Japanese haiku as long as it is qualified as such.

We have been stealing literary forms for centuries from various ethnic groups and races.  Evolution,! nothing is sacred.  

Your American Ku is splendid.  Your brilliant use of the western techniques, alliteration and  metaphor etc.  is not lost on all silly people.  I write true English haiku and do a poor job of it as it is...but  the secret is : am I  having fun ?  Yes. .  and so are you.  kudos to your Ku.

Answer 3

American Ku is quite lovely, but this a heck of a time to tell me spitwads aren't origami.(sigh)

Answer 4

Now wait a cotton pickin dadgummed minit.....

All through my school years I shot spitwads with rubberbands, and when the teachers complained, I told them it was a Japanese art form called origami.

I wonder if that's why I spent so much time in the principals office?

Answer 5

It is very ku, very visual with two beautiful (sorry) last lines.

Answer 6

What does "by allegedly you" mean??

You do wear many hats, don't you?

Answer 7

I am glad some-one else agrees with me....my sentiments entirely (altho' I don't think they are silly, just misguided)

It is a poem.....although, it won't set the world on fire.

Apple tree fugitives from flight

Swoop down on caterpillars

(They make a tasty bite).

Tender shoots giggle with delight

As each grub disappears from sight.

Answer 8

I don't like it as much as some of your other work.  It doesn't have the inner beauty of the poems I have read by allegedly you.

Answer 9

Well, I feel as if I fell into Alice's rabbit hole. Is it a poem, probably because all lines begin with a capital letter.

Answer 10

I loved your comment "That would be like calling a spit wad origami"...so very painfully true, but humorous. As to the poem, and it is indeed a poem, I like it very much.  "American Ku" ...illuminating.  Thank you.

Answer 11

i use a straw Dondi.

paper tasted better back then, dont you think?

(tooey! shoots the back of the janitors neck..hahahaha!)

Answer 12

Copying haikus

inevitability

too bad they are not!

Swallowed another one huh?  A good point raised.