This one is for all MILITARY spouses?

Question

My husband graduated with a BSN (bachelor's of science in nursing) 2 years ago from a private, prestigious nursing school-and I am in school now--meaning we have a lot of debt. My husband has recently started talking about joining a military branch as a nurse. I have some reservations as I grew up seeing my mother suffer from being away from her husband because of the military growing up. We have a 2 year old and a year old--I am almost done with school (my degree is in Secondary Education-English) what are your thoughts on this as an experienced miltary spouse? Should I encourage him, or try to talk him out of it? Pros/cons? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

If he's wanting to join the military for the sole purpose of educational reimbursement, he's making the wrong choice. People who do this are usually the ones who complain about it the entire time they're there. They're the people who whine and complain about how unfair it is when their spouse/self gets deployed, forgetting that's what they signed up for.

You should only join the military if you want to serve your country, if you're a proud citizen, and only if you can both accept that his branch (army, navy, usmc, air force, guard) will be "the other woman" in your marriage. There will be times when he'll be called upon to deploy on just a moment's notice. My friend Candace is 8.5 months pregnant and her marine husband deployed last wednesday. He's going to miss the first 6 months of his child's life. So that's something to consider.

Your family will move around a lot, so it will be hard to make and maintain friendships. The pay isn't very good. You'll be lonely. You won't necessarily choose where you get to live. He'll be risking his life. Your kids will have to learn how to deal with having a dad who's not always around. People there will understand what you're going through, but people can also be very gossipy.

He'll have to pass physicals and take an exam, and since he has a college degree, he might be able to join as an officer or be quickly advanced to one. His pay will be better than someone who enlisted right out of high school.

But seriously, if you're doing it for the wrong reasons, don't do it! Unlike a regular job, he can't just turn in his 2 weeks notice if he doesn't like it. He's practically selling his soul....

But whatever you choose, you need to agree on the decision. Don't nag and pressure him either way. Pray about it. Get counsel from your families. Weigh the pros and cons. But make the decision together so neither of you resents the other for it down the road.

Answer 2

As far as I know the military will only cover student debt up to a certain amount and your husband will have to serve x-amount of years.

My husband was a nurse as well and as far as deployments are concerned, they rotate based of a 'list of merit'. Meaning, whoever just deployed will be put at the bottom of the list.

There are quite a few officers who get into the military to take of their student debt and leave after their service obligation is up. But, your husband has to be aware that he will have the same paycheck every month regardless of the hours worked. My husband was very busy and he disliked working with civilians who have their own set of demands (drama).

There is a constant need for teachers everywhere so it shouldn't be too difficult for you to find employment. It may be hard to find qualified babysitters/daycare for your little ones since demand is high.

Separation is difficult but as a nurse it is a little easier to stay in one place for a longer period of time (as opposed to combat units) and as I mentioned before they deploy based on a list of merit. My husband attended a good-bye social for a fellow nurse just to be informed a couple of days later that somebody volunteered to go to Iraq which meant his co-worker did not have to go.

My suggestion is to think about this long and hard. Do not make a hasty decision and try to get as much information as you can get. Also, second-guess info that you get because it may not always be correct.