This poem was about a breaking up tell me what you think! This is Jamz?

Question

How do you love someone who doesn't love you like that

How do you care about someone who doesn't care back

How do you have room to love like that once more

How do you have a relationship that doesn't make you snore

How do you give your heart away and reclaim it once it's broken

How do you know when to re-open

How do you know when he's Mr.Right

How do you know when to fight

How can you let someone know how you feel

How do you know it's real

How do you know if there's anyone ever out there for you?

Answer 1

That is bloody brilliant. I love it. You really have a rare talent, wow!

Answer 2

I like it. James is saying this? Mr. Right? I don't think he's g*y.  The poem itself is good but for me it ended abruptly and not very clean cut. The first three paragraphs were great though. Good job and congrats!

Answer 3

very simplistic..looks like song lyrics..pretty superficial, fairly good if a 16 year old wrote it.

Answer 4

I think the rhythm is a bit off, please don't be offended.

Can you change Mr. Right to right? If that sounds too short, change he to he is. If you have a good reason for Mr. Right, keep it the way it is. But it just seems... I don't know.

You might want to change 'snore' to something else. Snore doesn't fit so well with the rest of the song...

How about this:

How do you have a relationship where your words aren't all unspoken...

How do you know when to fight, I think you should change to 'How do you know when it's time to fight.'

How do you know it's real-- How do you know that it's even real.

It's a nice song though. :). Song poem. Thing. Very feeling. Good emotion.