This question is for Early Childhood Professionals?

Question

Hello, I am attending an Early Childhood Program at my local community college and for a school assignment I have some questions that I need to ask an early childhood professional. Any profession that deals with children from birth through eight years old. If you decide to answer these questions for me if you wouldn't mind, please give me your first name and the place that you work. The questions I am asking are the following:

1. What problems do you face with the children in your program as a result of divorce?

2. What problems do you face with suspected abuse?

3. What do you as a professional do to help parents and children with these types of problems?

If anyone can please help me with these questions it would be greatly appreciated. The answers to these questions will help me in completing my early childhood education class.

Answer 1

I don't feel comfortable telling you where I work when I don't know you. It is a Preschool/Pre-Kind. Program located in Minnesota. Make up a name if you need to. LOL

1. Children who are from divorced families suffer from various problems. Some have separation anxiety when a parent drops them off, some have fears that most other children don't seem to have, and others appear to have hardly any different reactions when compared to children whose parents are still married.

2. With suspected abuse, we tend to ask questions of the parents and pay attention to how the child behaves around his or her parents. We also ask the child about any marks they may have on them that appear to have come from something other than your average bump from a fall. I have not yet had to report anyone about suspected abuse.

3. We direct parents to their pediatrician or other sources when they might need help. We also work directly with the parents to try to remedy the situation as much as possible (meaning in a divorce situation), and we are very sympathetic to the parent's and child's concerns and needs.

Answer 2

There are lots of challenges facing children in divorce situations:  it depends on the parents and how they're handling things.  Parents who are very sensitive to their children's needs seem to have kids with fewer adjustment problems.  It's much worse if the parents are fighting and/or using the kids as pawns.  Children will be angry and frightened, may be unsure that they will be cared for and loved by both parents, may feel torn in their loyalties and just generally upset because their parents are upset.  They are often more aggressive, may be more babyish and cry or tantrum easily, may lose some skills (like toilet-training) temporarily, may eat more or less or may be withdrawn.  While the children need to have some slack, they also need to know that school has NOT changed, that the same structure still applies and that they are safe with people they know who care for them.  They can use help in coping with anger and fear in positive ways (so can may adults!)

Abuse can take many forms including verbal abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse.  Remember that abuse can come from family members other than parents, from teachers (yep, it happens), from older children and family friends or neighbors.  If you have good reason to suspect abuse (and physical marks are only the most obvious sign, you will more often see acting out behavior as above) or have witnessed parental words or behavior that concern you, you are mandated to report it.  Always consult a lead teacher and or administrator.  Dealing with parents in these situations can be very difficult even if the parents aren't the abusers.  Ask questions that are non-confrontive and try to go at it from an angle of helpfulness.  I know I've felt angry toward a family I believe is abusive but an angry or accusatory attitude can make things worse for the child.  Remember, too, that most parents do love their children and are doing their best, but may become overwhelmed and take it out on the kids.  Many such parents were abused themselves.and shouldn't be treated like criminals.

Remember also that there are many resources to help families in crisis:  you aren't going to solve the problems.  Know the community resources and help families to help themselves.  Learn to be a good, compassionate listener and you will get better answers to your questions.

Answer 3

When parents divorce, the children often start to act out. They are in need of more attention. They need positive attention however.

If we suspect abuse, we MUST call the child abuse hotline. We are able to be anonomys about it. But by law we must report it.

Answer 4

Earlene---BCC EduCare

The main problem we have had is making sure parents understand that we need to have paperwork that states "who" can legally pick up children from the center.  They can't just tell us!

Fortunately, we have not had to deal with this much.  It is very important to have accurate and dated documentation.

We give the parents information about facilities that offer them help in dealing with divorce.  We also try to provide any booklets or videos that could help them.