This question will probably make me sound like an awful person regarding children with disabilities...?

Question

please, no one take offense!! i am a high school senior and have volunteered to teach religious education classes for one hour a week at my church for the first graders.

one girl is autistic. her mother comes to help keep her quiet and under control, which is fine. however, she also brings the girls two younger sisters, one is four and well behaved but the other is only around two and constabtly cries and yells and calls for attention, which immediatly sets the autistic girl off. i can barely keep the classes attention as is and with the two girls yelling its impossible.

i feel like a horrible person, but i want to ask the director to have her taken out of the class or ask her mother to at least hire a babysitter for the other two because its a distraction to the other kids and hard for me. but also, it is church so i feel like im not being tolerant at all, but ive tried for 5 weeks! and when i started, they told me if its a problem to let them know...what should i do???

Answer 1

God bless you for your spirit of volunteerism! Perhaps the 2 year old can go and sit with another class so mom can help the first grader The older girls classes may be delighted to have her. Another option would be to have the 8th graders do service hours by coming in to watch the younger girls for this hour. Talk to your DRE about this as kids are often looking for service hours. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

Could you find someone else in the church to come in and help with her?  It is very important to include all children in as many activities as possible

Answer 3

YOu need to speak with the program director.  He can then speak with the parent to see if perhaps the younger kids could go to classes meant for those ages or maybe have someone else handle them while she helps her autistic child in your class.  It is possible that there may be another adult that can help in your class if the girl with autism knows the person.  In any case, it is completely ok to address this issue.  It sounds like you have tried and simply can not do what you are supposed to if this current arrangement continues.  However, I do think the director of the program needs to talk with the girl's mother, not you.

Answer 4

u make a good point. ur just being a good person by teaching others the word of the lord.

Answer 5

Let your director at church know that the mom could really use a baby sitter for the other kids.  Surely there will be someone willing to do that, maybe a group of people could volunteer and rotate each week so no feels like they are sacrificing too much.

Definitely let them know.  You have a responsibility to the other kids to teach them. That is what their parents are expecting you to do.  Hopefully you can find a way so the one girl doesn't have to be removed but you still can do your job as the teacher.

The mom would probably like a break too. I am sure she is just as frustrated as you are.

Answer 6

Children with autism need supervision, so don't take the child's mom out of the class, rather kinda pull her off to the side and candy-coat what you have to say.  You could say something like, "Ma'am I was wondering if you could find a babysitter....the children in my class are being distracted..etc."  That's what I would suggest.  Hope things work out for you.

Answer 7

its def not rude ..talk to her mom to probbly leave her other 2 daughters at a frnds place where they can play n b occupied

Answer 8

You know.. you might offer to work with the child one to one before or after that time at church...you might learn something about autists   :)  They form relationships and learn to behave just as do other children. Look into:

ABA

PECS

Visual Schedule

"Shhh" card

Have a great day,

Mister

Answer 9

What you need to do is tell that mother that you need the girl removed or you need to tell her to keep her under control at all times and not just her but the other two as well ... i work with kids like this gurl,,  autistic, handicapped, people like that.  And hat is hte best advice i can possibly offer

P.S. you asked a good question....its not offensive!

Answer 10

I don't  think that it would be rude of you to ask for her to find some other alternative for the other to kids. Let the director know just how much of a distraction they are and maybe together you can come up with a solution. You are doing thr best that you can, and thats all you can do...

Answer 11

Have someone more "veteran" come and observe

and ask them what they would do.

Maybe they can talk to your supervisor on your behalf.

(Don't describe the situation pessimistically.)

Answer 12

i have a disability too. kids with autism usually almost need constant supervision the mother should not be distracted with two other children and for the record, you don't sound horrible

Answer 13

Don't feel bad. Seriously. It's not like you have a problem with the girl who has Autism, just her sister. It's nice of her mom to come and work with her daughter, but it's unfair of her to expect you to deal with the little sister who can't stay quiet.

You are well within your rights to ask her (or have someone else ask her) to get a babysitter for the younger daughters.

Answer 14

I would talk to whoever is in charge and see what they suggest. Then, let this person tell the parent what the decision is so it will be off of you and the parent won't get mad at you.

Something should be done because this situation is hurting the other kids and you have to think of all kids in the class.

Are there any rules that the school/church must follow in these situations?

Answer 15

It sounds like the autistic girl is doing just fine, it is the youngest you have to tell the mother to stay at home. And then she maybe can get some attention as well. It can be hard for children that as a sister with autisem.

Answer 16

Don't feel bad sweetheart, you have given it a good shot but obviously it is not working. For your sake and the sake of the other children this can't be allowed to go on.  You should talk to the director and explain that you are finding the situation impossible to deal with and that, although it is not what you want to have to do, you feel that for the benefit of all, including the little autistic girl, the mother has to stop bringing the other two children to class.  God bless you, hope it works out for you.  By no means are you a bad person sweetheart.

Answer 17

don't ask for her to leave but i would suggest asking the parent to hire a sitter for the younger ones because they cause a distraction to te entire class.

Answer 18

Well, the problem isn't the autistic girl, it's the little one.

Some suggestions would be to:

put the littlest one in nursery, if everyone is having sunday school at the same time, surely your church provides nursery for the adults to attend classes.

find a volunteer to start a teensy sunday school for toddlers.

find a volunteer who would be willing to work with the autistic girl (preferred)

I left our church because no one was willing to work with our family on educating our autistic daughter. No one was willing to learn more about autism, and more specifically, no one was willing to learn more about my daughter. I'm not trying to burden YOU, but the church itself needs to better provide programming that fits the needs of the church. There are programs out there that come to churches to help set up for Sunday schools to teach special needs. I would bring it up to the director and let them know that you need another volunteer. I don't know how many kids are in there, but six yo's are hard to teach anyway (I did first graders for a while lol!)

Answer 19

Tell the mom (or have the director tell the mom) to stay home with the other two kids and find some strategies that work with the autistic girl, ie quiet corner, a blocked off area, listening to music, headphones, a buddy to work with, low lighting and a calm atmosphere are great places to start!  You don't really need that kind of help!  Good Luck

Answer 20

Heh Cherry pie, Do not feel guilty. Talk to the Director.

Well done for trying.

Answer 21

You do have a problem, you are not awful.  See if the director can get a babysitter to be there at the church to watch the younger 2 kids.  That way, the mom can be there and not have to pay for a sitter.  Hope this works out for you.  The younger kids need to go.  (I have a mentally disabled daughter and your problem is real.  You are not awful, stop beating yourself up and ask for help.)