This questions is long and about love so please help

Question

Well i am 21 yrs old When i was 16 i was with this guy i met at church and we really cared for one another we lost our virginities together and we were inseparable. Until i broke his heart. I was regreted it for a long time after that. I forgot about i was in other relationships and time moved. we met at church. and 1 month ago i hadnt gone to that church in years....i went and he also happend to be there.omg i felt butterflys and couldnt focus and he was nervous and i felt he was feeling the same. After church we both were in shock to talk to eachother, But i remembered his number and i texted him y didnt talk to me in church. well he called me and said that he was to nervous and he felt butterflys and could own up to talk to him. anyways we talked for 3 hours and only to find out that he has had a Girlfriend for 3 years. anyways we have been talking for a month as friends and he confessed that the reason he is talking to me other than he wants to be friends with me we always got along great was because when he saw me he realized he still likes me and he will c where his emotions will take him, We talk daily for hours and we desire to hang out but he has a gf. What are the changes of him leaving his gf and coming with me??? should i just tell him forget it! i looked up her myspace and she loves him and all her pictures are of them! should i fight for it or leave it alone??? i ve been hurt many times and i wanna do the right thing please help!!!!11

Answer 1

let him decide hes the one who like two girls at the same time

Answer 2

Let see first there was the infidelity of having s*x with a church boy and now you want him to cheat on his girlfriend with you. Hmmmmm. What church do you go to? Are there any other girls like you there?

Answer 3

I wouldn't go anywhere near this one ...3 years with that one girl is a long time. If he breaks up with her he's going to be a mess for a long time. He's not just going to step out of it and ride off into the sunset with you, he's going to have a lot of guilt and and might even attach a lot of his negative feelings to you and the new relationship.

If he talks to you for hours each day, he is betraying his partner profoundly which doesn't look promising for a relationship with him ...in 3 years time he might accidently meet his now ex and realise he has feelings for her. He's also lying to her and making her life a lie

You need to give him a big break so he can make this decision without the pressure of disappointing you and without any lustful feelings. You want his decision to be made with logic rather than desire for any long term happiness to be possible

A new relationship is so clean of complications and disappointments.  The other person seems faultless and exciting ...it's just too easy for someone in a long term realtionship to fall into a new one rather than solve problems in their own character. Right now he has the love of two women while you only have half of his ...if this were an equation, I'd be checking your maths

If this is meant to be, a little time and space won't stop it from happening. If he can't do the right thing, you 'll have to ...by stepping away }c:

Answer 4

if a child discards a toy because they are no longer interested in it .then to have it picked up by another child who appreciates that toy .is it right for the first child to want it back because they see that another child is now enjoying what was once discarded...?its your lose learn from it and move on ...

Answer 5

Love is not worth fighting for although it is worth waiting for.If it's in God's plan for you and him to be together,you will.

Answer 6

Well, first of all, you both managed to get butterflies, which is GREAT news, and i think there is hope for the both of you. But i must warn you, if you really love this guy, you have to HOLD YOUR NERVE at this point. So what if he has a girlfreind? Just dont depend too much on him for your happiness just now. Make sure you have a busy life, because you dont want to get hurt in the end, and you want to do this right. yes you have been given a second chance, and you should fight for it, but not literally snatch him away. :) First you have to build back  on his emotional dependancy on you. After all, you too have been back together after so long. Things change, so  do talk to him occassionally, but not too often. Just keep the excitement building up. Dont ALWAYS answer his phone calls or dont ALWAYS show the desire to meet him. when you do answer his calls, try and hang up first, that will make him want more. sometimes just dissappear into the thin air for a week or ten days. He will begin to have doubts about you, and trust me,if this guy is crazy about you, that seperation from you will drive him nuts.

Dont care whether the girlfreind loves him or not. It all depends on how much he loves her. Dont ask him specific questions about your relationship and where it will head. as i said you HAVE TO HOLD YOUR NERVE if you want him back....

Best of luck to you and do get back to me if something positive comes up!!! xx

Answer 7

This girl might have a boy she dumped who she wants to get back together with.  I say go for him.

Answer 8

i can underzstand this but if you love him still and loved him when u were together y did u cheat??? how do u no if he leaves this happy relationship, you wont cheat again and break HIS heart AGAIN. seriously think bout wot u do! for his sake and urs xx good luck xx

Answer 9

I think you should let him decide for himself.  That way, he chooses what he feels is right, rather than trying to please either of you.  Try not to let yourself be so vulnerable so if he decides to stay with his gf, you won't be so hurt.  But don't tell him to forget it if you really care about him.  Good luck, i hope everything works out.

Answer 10

Don't break his girlfriend's heart.  When you've been in a relationship for three years, it can sometimes be boring because all the newness is gone and you're simply left with each other.  However, the perks are that you know the other person so well and still love them...it's so enjoyable.  I'm sure that he really loves his current girlfriend and maybe he only thinks he still loves you because his heart was broken and he regrets that.  

My advice: tell him to stay with his girlfriend.

Answer 11

you should just leave him alone...well you don't wanna be a homewrecker either, right?

Answer 12

The decision doesn't really rest on you..........it's more up to him.

If he doesn't dump his current girlfriend, your relationship with him CAN'T grow, (and you shouldn't allow yourself to become the "other" woman).

You can be friends, but no more than that.  Make sure his current girlfriend is aware that he is speaking with you, (tell him if he can't tell her, he's cheating on her, and you want nothing to do with a cheater), neither of you are in a position to "fall" for each other while he's still dating someone else.

Hope that helps

You are free and available, if you meet someone else that's interested, go out with them, he's involved with someone else, until and unless he breaks up with her, he is TOTALLY unavailable.

Luck

Answer 13

I think you should leave him alone and act like you didnt see him in church. it is unfair for you to break up his relationship and wrong for him to be talking to you. It is women like you who keep men from being happy with the woman that they have claimed to love for years. You may not even do it intentionally but you do. Also you should consider the fact that you broke it off the first time and may only want him because someone else has him and if you two do get together you may not be able to trust him in the future because you may feel like he will do you like he did her. That is something you should think about. I advise that you look for love in God, that is why you went to church that day right, and let Him send you your OWN man. And he will be more spectacular than you can imagine. Just try it.  

Answer 14

dang girl i would say BEFORE you guys go any further he needs to dump his girl!! cause this could be him just trying to get REVENGE ON YOU for hurting him before... 3 years is pretty darn serious BUT if there is no ring involved then you still have a chance... really tho dont engage with him any more till he leaves his gf he will respect you more and really you should respect yourself... cause any girl that messes with a guy who has a gf already esp for 3 years is just plain trashy no matter if  you had him first or not! u had him first and you blew it... but if u dont care than just bone him and take ur chances... if the lovin is good and HE REALLY DOES LOVE YOU AND CARE ABOUT YOU he would LEAVE his gf and be with the one that has his HEART! remember you deserve to be loved and cared for ENTIRELY! not to be put on the side like a side hoe!

Answer 15

You can't fight how you feel!

That is what Toby said to J.T.!! HE tried to tell Liberty how he felt but he died. (Degrassi FAN!!) lol

But the point is you can't fight how you feel!!

But do the right thing!!! He'll come around if you were meant to be.

Answer 16

This is definitely a tough situation, and it's obvious that your feelings for him are strong.  I know it's a difficult thing to reconnect with an ex that you still have chemistry with...but this is what you should do.  He's the one who is still in a very committed relationship with a girlfriend of 3 years, meaning he is in love.  Yes, his feelings for you have resurfaced, but unfortunetly, this is not a situation that you can control.  HE is the one who needs to figure out what he wants.  If he ends up leaving his girl for you, then great for you, but remember that he might not make that decision.  SInce he's been with her for so long, it's going to be harder for him to even consider letting go of her.  And remember...YOU were the one who hurt HIM...that's not something he can let go of.  Don't be the homewrecker and try to steal him away from her, only to end up with him leaving both of you.  This is HIS decision to make.  Don't force him to make any choices...this is about his happiness.  Tell him that you two need to calm down with communicating because it's only going to cause problems and confusion for all three of you.  Tell him it's his choice, and that you will back off because you care about his happiness.  I know it's a tough move, but it's the only choice you have.

Love is a very hard thing...but it's also something you cannot be selfish about.  

Good luck and message me if you need any more advice!

Answer 17

Well, i had the same problem, what you should do is to let him stay with his girlfriend but if he picks you you can't help that but if he stays with his girlfriend he will come back to you if he really wants you.

Answer 18

You cant help the way you feel, if you love this man do not supress you're emotions! it will make you feel worse about the situation. if he still likes you then you cannot give up!

He's probably in the same situation as yourself and wondering whether he should risk being hurt again.

you have to earn his trust back - and this may take time.. dont expect him to come running to you straight away, if he is happy with this other woman it may be difficult for you but if he has already admitted to you his feelings then there must be some doubt there between him and his relationship with this other woman.

you say you want to do the right thing, so do what you desire most! do what is right for you! if this man is whom you want to be with dont let this opportunity fall behind - you may regret it later!

and if it does end badly, at least you can say you tried - you fought for him but if you dont, where does that leave you? you will always wonder about what MIGHT have been between you two and what COULD have happened..

it may not work out, ill be honest but no one knows.

you could both end up really happy together and not regretting anything at all.

and if you do go for this, but it backfires at least that way you can get over him, knowing you tried. knowing that theres someone else out there for you, but if you leave this opportunity behind, then you might be leaving your somone behind.

i say go for it.

good luck

x

bekkah