This situation is impossible...?

Question

I am in love with my teacher despite the fact I haven't seen him in 3 years.

I left school at 14 and am now nearly 17(tomorrow).

I don't no where he lives or how to contact him.

I don't even know if I found him whether or not he would like me or even remember me.

And to top it all off...he's married :(

What should I do?

And don't tell me to forget about him because I can't!

This is not a crush...it's been 3 years without seeing him and I'm obsessed!

Answer 1

Even if you find him and he remembers you, you will only be making a fool of yourself if you tell him how you feel. As much as you dont want to hear it, forget about him.

Edit; dont care about his wife and kids, that makes you selfish as well as stupid then.

Answer 2

ok its not a crush its an obsession! he is a married man and you want to be the home wrecker???

He could have children and you want them to wake up one morning asking weres daddy???

you really do need to move on and forget.

he was your teacher and thats that.

Answer 3

Oh honey I'm so sorry. believe me I KNOW how it is to love someone you can't have.

I KNOW what you are going thru even though I am years older than you.

People just don't know how it is till they are in it  themselves.

Just think about this- what if you DID find him? What do you think would happen? He would either ignore you, be mean to you or politely tell you to leave him alone.

He will not feel the same for you because first of all it's illegal, (because you are not 18 yet)  

you woudln't want him to go to jail for liking you would you?

I know ' just liking' isn't illegal, but that leads to something else, you know what I'm talking about.

I know you don't want to hear this, but at 17 you will forget in time. The memories will fade, the hurt will fade.

Try to focus on someone else. Something that has always been true for me is - the only way to get over someone is to find someone else.

I also know how it is to NOT WANT to get over someone. I went thru this and paid dearly. I hurt so many people. You just don't KNOW how this messed up my life.

I think you know what you should do- it will really be hard for a while but you can do it.

Before long boys will start liking you, don't push away their reality for a dream that will never come true.

This is the HARDEST part I had to face.

I'm having to stop my own tears right now.

Answer 4

You dont love your teacher, you love some fantasy idea you have made up around him..

dont make a fool of yourself, if you cant  get over it go see a doctor cos nothing good will come from this..

Answer 5

There r plenty more guys out there!

Forget him!

He probably wouldn't be worth it anyway!

=]

Answer 6

don't contact him. just think about it and you'll see it's not a good idea.

Answer 7

Hi,

Im 26 and single and liive in north wales.  Go for someone like me who is single.

[e-mail]

Answer 8

Any healthy adult man would have not interest in a person who puts herself before his children.  I have no idea if this is impossible, because all kinds of "wrong" things happen in this world.  If you cannot forget about him, then you need to get help because you are expending all of your energy and time on something that sounds really unhealthy.

Answer 9

Forget about him.

Answer 10

ok, what if you find him and he leaves his wife/kids for you.  do you really want a man who would do that?  abandon his family for someone else?  that would only prove that he has the morals of an alley cat.  if he did it to them, he'd do it to you.  raise your standards and move on.  he has.

Answer 11

I understand that you feel like you can't forget him, and maybe that is true. But the reality is that you cannot be with him, others on here have given you the many reasons, so I won't repeat them.

What I do know is that you need to focus on what it is that you want and focus on ways that you can truly obtain what you want.

The more you focus your energy and time on something that you cannot have, the less time you will be available to experience the things that are truly available to you.

I was in love with a married man. I still think of him sometimes and occasionally he tries to make contact with me. I don't have any contact with him though because I know he cannot give me what I truely want. Instead of spending my time obsessing about him or keeping myself available in case he could see me, phone me, or text me, I looked for someone who could give me a full relationship. I used the qualities that I admired in this married man to find the one guy who I am now truly in love with. Now four years later, I am married and happy.

I had a bad life too. My father was abusive, my x-husband was abusive, and once I realized this I vowed to never let this happen again.

Answer 12

Don't give me that

"I don't care about his wife or children,I've had a bad life so I'm putting myself first for once and I CANT forget about him :("

c**p.  You are seriously an idiot.  You need to grow up and get a grasp on reality.  It doesn't matter if you don't care about wife or kid, do you honestly think he would leave his family to be with you just because you have been border-line stalking him?  My gosh, you sound exactly like a 17 year old: self absorbed.

Answer 13

I think you have built him up to be this fantasy figure someone who is perfect. Well I hate to break it to you but you will be nothing more than an ex student to him and anyway he is married so will hardly abandon a marriage for some teenager!

I know its hard but find someone who you have a chance with and can make you happy. This teacher wont.

Answer 14

Hon, you're not in love with him.  You're obsessive, a bit stalker-ish possibly, but you're not in love.  

Love means that you put the other person and their needs and happiness first, even when it means that you sacrifice something of yourself.  It means that you put them above yourself...which isn't what you're describing.  If you really want to get him fired, possibly jailed, and end up in legal trouble, by all means pursue it...but if you actually care even a fraction of what you claim to, you'll leave him alone.

Answer 15

Trust me teacher and pupil relationships do not work out. I was in a position where I liked my teacher and we used to flirt but nothing ever happened and we split off in our different ways...It is so much harder when something like that happens rather than not having anything at all. The age difference is usually quite a difference, hence one reason why it does not work so well. You are better off out of it and like you say you haven't seen him for years anyway. You need to find somebody else to replace him and stop thinking about him as it will never happen especially if you have no contact with him.

Answer 16

Find. Someone. Else.

Answer 17

JD ask yourself what is it your looking for, a relationship now you're becoming an adult, or the answers to why you still feel like you do.

Did at 14, this man ever give you the slightest incline that he thought of you as more than a student ? and if you got to know where he lives, could you face rejection ? what happens if he doesn't remember you, or he is married ?

You've gone through all the alternatives, and another is still to be answered, what if there was a young girl who had the same thoughts over your guy, and wanted to possibly destroy what you have !! how would you handle this as his lover, wife, or girlfriend ?

This teacher showed you understanding, wisdom, and possibly friendship and someone you could relate/talk to.... but isn't that a sign of good qualities into being a wonderful role model/teacher, and not someone that was just taking advantage.

You could finish up destoying this mans life and career, and regreting it for the rest of your life.

Think about it.....

Caramac x

Answer 18

if he hasnt contacted you then he probably wont feel the same twords you. have you thought about liking another student? thats more...eh...healthy.

Answer 19

I know it's not what you want to here...but there aren't any options to start with.

If your struggling talk to someone.

You have to let go, there are no other choices

Answer 20

If you have had a bad life he has probably been the one good person who has been kind to you,you are confusing an act of kindness with something else,he has a life away from school and it doesnt involve you,get out with people of your own age before you know what you will meet the right person for you,you havent even begun to start living yet there is a big wide world out there,please dont waste it pining over something that is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.