This will be the worse day of my life!!!! please help me !!!! ?

Question

My 17th birthday is coming up on the 19th of this month. My mom and grandma were planning a small get together this Sunday for me and a few of my friends but the problem is nothing is going as planned my aunt passed away and her funeral is this Friday, my mom lost her job so she doesn’t have any money, my step dad just doesn’t care and to make matter worse my real dad sent me $100 dollars so I can get my nails and toes done and so I can get my outfit for the first day of school which is Monday the day before my birthday but now my mom is making me buy the rest of my school stuff with that money so now I cant do the things that I wanted to do because now I have to buy school supplies and I cant even get my hair done and that’s kind of a big deal for a teenage girl where in from (Chicago). But the thing that’s really upsetting me is that I have a 4 year old sister and every year for her birthday they go all out and make sure her day is perfect but I haven’t had anything special for my birthday since I was ten and they use the same excuse “ ohh we don’t have money” so I feel like an outcast. Everyone says they don’t have money but yet they are planning this huge party for my step dads family in 2 weeks and my mom came up with $600 for them but she doesn’t even have money for her own daughter and that hurts me a lot so I decided that I want to just cancel my birthday all together. Am I being unreasonable and selfish? Should I cancel my get together this weekend? Please help what should I do?

Answer 1

Go see a therapist.

Answer 2

You are 17 and you sound like you are 7!  I'm sure when you were 4 your Mom went all out for your birthdays too!  She is assuming that at 17 you will understand and it won't be a problem since you are almost an ADULT!  Adults don't have to have a big party for their birthdays, yes it's nice, but if it doesn't happen, oh well!  Time for you to grow up honey, and stop acting like a spoiled child!!  What if it were YOUR Mom who died, wouldn't you want family to be thinking of her and you?  Well why not do something nice for your family who lost their Mom, instead of only thinking of yourself?  You really do sound rediculous for 17!!

Answer 3

Honey i feel for you I really do.  Remind your mom that this money was a present from your dad to spend as you wish and that you would want to do as he wishes.  Considering your sister is getting a lot of attention would be very hurtful and the fact your mom is getting all those shoes tell me she is self-absorbed and mean.  Maybe you should just plan on staying overnight with a good friend who may fix you a nice meal, get a movie, and maybe they will surprise you with a nice cake and good time.  Don't take it personal just keep your head up and do what you want to do and need to do to make yourself happy on your day ok?

Answer 4

Go to your get-together this weekend and be nice. Just suck it up.  Your birthday is just one day. I'm sure your family will have a nice LITTLE celebration for you. It may not be the blow out you'd like but it'll be something. You're growing up, and they're beginning to treat you like an adult. This means less attention and for sure, less money coming your way. You need to think about getting a part time job. OMG!!! I know. I know. But you MUST start thinking this way to get money for your hair, mani-pedis, clothes and things. You're almost grown girl. Start filling out applications for Christmas jobs. Go down to Michigan Ave; Crate & Barrel, H &M., etc.

Answer 5

Write down what you are feeling and talk with your mom alone.  Tell her how you feel about her buying shoes instead of getting your hair done.  Was it her sister that died?  And she lost a job?  Maybe she's doing a little retail therapy.  Maybe her head is not clear.   I bet she isn't looking at things from your perspective.  Have some solutions ready for your conversation.  Can you get a part time job babysitting, or cleaning neighbors houses, or walking dogs to help raise a little money for your own needs? Take responsibility and your mom and stepdad will appreciate it!  Your mom is going through a hard time.  Let her know that you are there for her and she will never forget it.  

Your sister is still little.  Her life is magical.  Let her live in that for a little while longer.  Don't be jealous.  You had your mom for 13 years all to yourself before she was born.  Your relationship with your mom is going to change, in a good way, the older you get.

You're not a little girl anymore, be an adult and have a conversation with your mom.  I know from experience, having hard conversations now will save your relationship with mom in the future.

Also, you don't need parties and gifts to celebrate your birthday...maybe find something fun to do together like have a picnic, or go to the zoo...be an adult, rise above your feelings, take a deep breath, and realize you haveno idea what your mom is thinking until you ask her... good luck, and happy birthday!

Answer 6

Life is full of unpleasant things, like your aunt dying right before your birthday. Happy Birthday.

Answer 7

soon you will be an adult so remember the things that upset you and when you have children you don't make the same mistakes that your mother did

  don't be jealous of your little sister as you probably had the same type of birthday when you were 4