Question:

Thomas the tank engine joke?

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A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You B*****ds who want off, get the f**k off now, cause we're in a hurry! And all of you B*****ds who are getting on, get the f**k on, cause we're going down the tracks'.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't Use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS.

When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want You to Use nice language.'

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed Playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,

'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.

We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.'

She hears the little boy continue,

'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train.

We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us Today.'

As the mother began to smile, the child added..........

'For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat b*tch in the kitchen.'

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28 ANSWERS


  1. Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

    She was from Quality Street , he was a Fisherman's Friend.

    On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a

    Wine Gum.

    He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said.

    "I'm the one with the nuts," he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

    They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury

    turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic.

    It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her

    Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and

    Miss Rowntree shaked her Tic Tacs for him.

    Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a

    trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as he

    always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as she let out a

    scream

    of Turkish Delight.

    When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie.

    She wanted more, but he needed a Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink

    Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet

    Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

    Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel.

    Sadly, 3 days later his Magnum lolly started to drip. It turned out Miss

    Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts!!!

    ________________


  2. this was cute!

  3. i like it.

  4. niCE

  5. not bad kid keep them coming

  6. wdh is that i didnt read it cuze it was too long and dumb i read only the part in the first paragraph

  7. i"ve heard that joke loadsa times before, but i still laugh when ever i hear it...have a star

  8. what a howler! good one! you get stars and a thumbs up off me!

  9. ROTFL..  

  10. LOL!!!

  11. lol very funny! have a star x

  12. cute

  13. c**p

  14. you shud seriously get a billion stars..that is so awesomely funny.

  15. Hehehehehe    thanks, that made me laugh !! x

  16. hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. O that's hilarius

  18. lol roflmao

  19. lol that was hilarious  

  20. Not new but certainly worth telling again. Thanks.

    TRINITY52. Your joke was fantastic. Very very clever. If you do not want to post it I will steal and post it. Every one should see it.

  21. Hahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahhaa...

    Funny!

  22. That is truly brilliant!

  23. hahahaha. Very Nice.  

  24. I don't like jokes where kids are swear...not at all funny.

  25. tat's pretty funny ya!

  26. good one will use with some milder language  tho. tks

  27. At last, one I haven't heard before. Good enough for a wee interesting star...

  28. lol! i feel sorry for the mother!

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