Those who have had a vestectomy - your feelings?

Question

My husband and I decided after our second child was born that we did not want any more children. After considering many options, my husband decided that he would have a vastectomy in one year, just in case we changed our mind about conceiving another child. The year mark is August and my husband and I are VERY sure we do not want any more children. (We've had many discussions) He hasn't mentioned the procedure or found a doctor. When I mention it, he tells me that we decided on one year and not before. I don't want to press the issue because this is a delicate matter and it is his body. I do not want him to feel pressured and I want to make sure that this is something that he wants to do. We are taking extra care in avoiding pregnancy, but I don't want to have to worry each month - accidents do happen even though you are taking precautions. Should I leave it alone, or research for him? Please - only polite and experienced answers please.

Answer 1

When I was pregnant with our third child, hubby and I decided he was going to get fixed.  We both agreed that 3 is enough and all we can afford.  I flat out told him, that I would not be getting fixed.  I have had 3 kids, my body is done being beat up.

I let him take the reins on it.  He called the doctor, set up all his appointments, everything.  The only thing I did was drive him there and back and take care of him for a few days.  He did the rest.  Which is really amazing, if you knew my hubby, b/c he's a procrastinator big time!

He was dead serious about not having any more and he knew I wouldn't get fixed, so he did.

I was proud of him for doing it.

Just speaking from my experience, I would let him research it and schedule it, etc.  Be there for him to talk to you about it, but leave it up to him.  Perhaps he hasn't 100% made up his mind yet???....  Good luck!

Answer 2

I am pregnant with our 3rd child and we want this to be our last for sure. i've been so sick and I do not ever want to go thru this again so my husband and I have been talking about both of us getting snipped. My husband calls it him getting neuterted.. and me getting spayed..lol.. I know for sure he and I both do not want anymore kids, but my husband is kindly feeling like his manlihood will be lost if he gets snipped.

I would just keep talking about it just to make sure this is still what your husband wants to do (and you). Like someone else said, keep your options open and keep the communication flowing.

Answer 3

Keep communication open, but dont nag him so he dosen't get irritated or resent you.

Answer 4

My husband talked me out of getting my tubes tied with our last, he said he would get fixed. And that someone told him it messes with a woman's mind, so he would get it done. What ever the case I said fine, it was an additional surgery since I delivered vaginally.

It was 3 years later he finally did it LOL I will not be on the pill, my mom died at 45 of aggressive breast cancer, and I was sick of the what ifs even with condoms. He finally braved up and we all went, of course the girls and I waited in the waiting room. It took not even an hour and it was over. We came home and he said he was amazed it did not hurt near as bad as he thought it would and if he had realized that he would have done it sooner. He did however lay in bed for 2 days and even drank some whiskey "for the pain" I told him give me a break you are not John Wayne on the frontier LOL but at least he finally did it.

I would research it for him and keep it on hand but do not just give it to him, wait until after the 1 yr mark or when he ask which ever comes first. Do not let him off the hook though, he agreed to it, and it is stressful to always worry each month.

Answer 5

It's not going to hurt to wait another month.  Wait for the promised date, then talk to him about it & ask how you can help.