Thoughts of suicide due to guilt.?

Question

Okay read carefully.

I am 14 years old,about four years ago,when i was ten,my cousin and i knew this little boy,he was about 6 years old,along with his sister who was about the same age range as my cousin and i. So from what i am aware of...it is only normal for kids to experiment with sexual activity,right? I HOPE SO. well here is the story the best way i can describe it,and i don't really remember every detail.

Okay,WE WERE IN MY COUSINS BEDROOM,AND HER MOM (MY AUNT) WAS OUT IN THE LIVING ROOM,DOING WHATEVER(PROBABLY DRINKING COFFEE) SO MY COUSIN JULIA AND I ,BEING THE CURIOUS LITTLE GIRLS THAT WE WERE AT THAT AGE,KEEP IN MIND I WAS 10,SHE WAS 9,THIS BOY WAS 6. WE STARTED TO TAKE HIS UNDERPANTS OFF AND TOUCH HIM AND STUFF,AND AFTER THAT ,HE WAS CRYING,AND WE WERE AFRAID TO GET IN TROUBLE,SO THEREFORE WE BASICALLY TALKED HIM INTO LYING,BUT HIS MOM BASICALLY HAD AN IDEA OF WHAT HAPPENED,I MEAN IF SHE REALLY THOUGH IT WAS *THAT* BAD,SHE WOULD HAVE CALLED THE COPS,RIGHT? AND THIS CERTAIN SITUATION HAS NOT CROSSED MY MIND UNTIL LATE LAST YEAR,WHEN I WAS 13. AND EVERY SO OFTEN IT HAS CAME BACK TO ME,IT IS TEARING ME APART. I FEEL SO BAD,BUT THEN AGAIN I WAS ONLY TEN,WHAT SHOULD I DO?

-SERIOUS ANSWERS PLEASE!

maybe i am over-reacting but the guilt and pain is just unbearable!

I TOLD MY MOM AND SHE SAID "IT'S ONLY CHILD EXPERIMENTATION".

Answer 1

Don't worry about poor thing.. I had a similiar story when i was a 13 year old boy and i did pretty much the same thing like touching etc. with a close relative.But im sure some experiments can go too far. .It took me awhile to get over it (about 3 years to be precise). But in the end i thought it was pretty stupid of me to feel soo bad. It was all experimentation. Sure you knew what was right and wrong.Its all human curiosity. You got to know what body parts are used for. I wish i could help you more but my advice to you is sacrifice the short term for the long term. Meaning that don't think about it and you know that in the end its going to be alright.

Answer 2

Yes, the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK., and it sounds like you could feel better if you got some professional counseling.

Answer 3

Rtas Vadum: She's just a little girl, what's wrong with you?

To answer your question: You were too young to understand what you were doing, it's VERY important that you understand that.

Now, if you feel really bad, you should talk to the kid that you had that encounter with and talk to him about how he felt about that situation, and that you didn't mean anything by it. That's the only way you will get your feelings straightened out.

Answer 4

Hi! you were just ten when u did this?i understand what problem u are facing now?In my point of view u are comitted this without knowing about that ok leave it PAST IS PAST think about FUTURE. Dont ever try to hurt others let it be last think to happen in ur life.ALL THE BEST 4 UR FUTURE.bye.  

Answer 5

Of course your moms going to stick up for you. what you did was wrong and very sick idk how you could have done that to a poor little boy. if he ever thinks about how much it hurt him now, and tells anyone in his family you will get alot of charges pressed on you. i seriously cant believe you do that. once you do it the first time, your likely to do it again. your not over reacting you deserve to feel guilty for hurting such a young kid.

Who cares if you are a good student in school. you sexually molested someone 4 years younger then you. you really need counseling.

Answer 6

First off, you should talk to a close friend about this, it will help so much. Don't be afraid to cry in front of them, they'll just hug you for it.

Second: You need to realize it was experimentation! You just wanted to examine little boy parts up close, right? It's not a big deal at all, all kids are curious, especially about semi-naughty or "icky" stuff. You will do *much* more regrettable things sexually in the future, trust me, I'm old enough to know from experience lol. That boy doesn't even remember that event anymore, I'm positive, I KNOW people did all kinds of stuff to me as a kid and I don't remember any specific examples whatsoever. In fact, I'm sure that when this boy is older he will be shocked that he didn't enjoy two girls touching him down there, so CHEER UP! ^_^

Also, I was really stressed when I was 13 too and was thinking about suicide until I was 15...to kill the pain I got heavily into hard drugs. All I've learned from this is I wasted years worrying about such small things, and that that later in life you'll be soooooo glad you aren't dead, because good memories stick a heck of a lot longer then the bad ones. You'll get to do so much fun and crazy stuff when you're older. THINK ABOUT IT: When you're older you can go to concerts and raves, buy stuff without parental permission, see rated r movies without having to sneak in, go to college, drink at parties without worrying about getting caught, fall in love (and do all the naughty things that go with it), etc, and that's all within being 21...then you have decades left to explore the rest of when you can experience. Life gets SO MUCH BETTER, the mid-teens will suck on and off for everyone (even the "cool" kids, who will be considered huge losers 4 years from now trust me), but be strong and life will start to get richer over time. Peace and love to you, you'll be in my thoughts.

Answer 7

You didn't get specific about what, exactly, you did to the boy. Just how far did things go, and was it you who instigated it?  How did doing such things make you feel while you were doing them? I think you should address these basic things first (and not necessarily ON HERE..) and then figure things out from there.  You WERE young, and i believe 10 years old is not too old to experiment with curiosity, especially if you had been previously "kept in the dark".  

It seems you're not trusting your mother's opinion or advice, which makes me wonder if you were completely truthful with her, or even with yourself. Analyze your own motives a little more, and seek help again from your mother. She will always be the best place to start.

And remember, there is nothing we can do that we cannot eventually be forgiven for. Your guilt is proof of your good character. Don't worry...

Answer 8

If you are really thinking of hurting yourself please I beg of you to call the suicide Hot-line 1800-784-2433. EDIT ADDED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You were a child. Remember that. Talk to your mom.