Thoughts on my ramblings?

Question

ahead of my shadow or farther behind

a trick of the twilight

or a slight of the mind

how far have i traveled

how much longer to go

will the angels greet me

or cast me below

these things i must know

all of my silver

all of my gold

for a simple answer

and a fate foretold

Answer 1

short and sweet and descriptive, unlike this last thing i just read!

i think that youre trying to say that youre confused..disoriented by time and setting because youre waiting to die?

a fate that is foretold for everyone..though

Answer 2

I like. ^^

You've a talent for rhyming... I envy that.

the rhythm is thrown off at the line "these things I must know"  I falter reading it, but everything else is so smooth.  I think it's because 'know" rhymes with "below," so it throws off the rhyme scheme.

Answer 3

Pretty good. It sounds like a lot of things Ive heard combined though...But I guess every poet does that to an extent...