Threatened With Kidnapping?

Question

My grandson's mother gave him to me because she was struggling with 4 of them and having a hard time. I have the oldest one who is now 10 years old. He loves being here with me. Now she wants him back and he doesn't want to go back home with her. Can she have me charged with kidnapping?" I just want what is in the BEST interest of the child.

Answer 1

I suggest you keep a step in front of her. You need to try to get custody because no matter what you do the courts will always favor the mother unless you prove she is unfit and unfit means, she is a prostitute or she is on drugs. So go file for custody first and please make sure it is for the best interest of the child. Your grandson is 10 so you can explain things to him and he will understand. Ask him if he prefers to stay with you or his mom. Good luck.

Answer 2

Preempt her by filing in court for custody.  Once you've done that, she can only file her own custody case.  Any sort of calls to the police, once you show them the court papers, will be ignored.

Answer 3

Since she consented to him being there with you in the first place, you have not kidnapped him.  Kidnapping is when you take the child AGAINST the will of the parent.  

There are a ton of things beyond that, which need to be talked out, with a lawyer. First thing, is what legal authority she gave you, to start with. If she only allowed him to stay with you by verbal.. that is not custody. She still has parental rights, which MAYBE including coming in, and saying.. I let him stay until I got on my feet, now I am on my feet, and I want my son back. In other words, if she trusted you to help, and now you don't want to give him up.. that can be wrong against her.

The question is also, HOW LONG has he been there? Would the court think she abandoned him? or she didn't abandon him, but trusted him to be safe with family, while she dealt with hard times?

You also have to be totally honest, as to WHO gets to decide what best interest is? Is it best for the child to destroy his bond with his mother? Being 10 yrs old, he might like it at your house because you have more money.. or are more lenient. That does not make "best interest".

I also have investigated that there are disagreements about "best interest" of the child being wrongly used, in cases of 3rd party (someone not the parent).  Some lawyers say "best interest" should apply between father/ mother... that for grandparent to take a child away.. that it should be more. Most states require that you PROVE mother is unfit.  In other words.. the parent is not capable, which is NOT THE SAME as you can provide better for the child.  If kids could be taken away for anyone who can provide "better", most parents could lose kids to anyone with more money.  

There is a WHOLE LOT MORE involved, to decide who he should be with.  My opinion, is that UNLESS a parent is not fit to be a parent, the child should always be with the parent. It is the most important bond in life.  Kids don't get this. "He does not want to go back" is not necessarily the right choice for a child to make.

You probably can file for custody. I ask you to think about if that is REALLY the right thing to do.  What I offer you to think about comes from watching my grandchildren and family destroyed, and their childhood taken, by grandparents who only wanted control, and did not care what they were TAKING from the kids at all.

If you feel, in your heart, that daughter is a bad mother, then talk to a lawyer. You will have to go to court to sue her, if you think she should lose her child. Please be honest enough to think if there is a real reason.

You are welcome to email me if you want. I am just wanting to point BOTH sides of the issue.  

Answer 4

Well I think you should talk to an attorney,I was in an similar situation,she called the police on me,and even though the kids was with me for months on end.The police told me if I didn't give the kid up,I could be charge with kidnapping.It was my ex husband son I think you should start building a case on her.

Answer 5

If it goes to court be sure & hire an attorney, they can get his school records, show all of your receipts that could prove you have been supporting him, sounds like she may be willing to fight over him.  Most states usually side with the mother, but you could have a decent chance.  The judge will rule whoever he thinks the child would be better off.  If he is active in any church youth groups, activities at school, have those write a letter of recommendation of what achievements he has made. How long has he been in your custody?

Good luck.

Answer 6

you have to go to court for a custody battle