Threatening adoptees?

Question

Did anyone grow up being told to be grateful they weren't aborted?

I didn't and I can't imagine it. What a house of horrors that would be.

People don't really tell their children this, do they?

Answer 1

yup they sure do . . . and they tell them that they should be grateful they were adopted. people are mean and ignorant, even those blessed with adopted children

Answer 2

I've never heard that one before. My coworker, who was not adopted, was frequently told by her mother that she didn't want her and tried to miscarry rather than have her.

Answer 3

It's bandied around here quite a bit, usually from "happy" people who try to keep "angry" adoptees in line.

And when that fails, the old Dumpster gets an honorable mention.

Answer 4

My sister in law has said that on a few occasions to her children.  I think it's an absolutely horrific and terrible thing to say, especially to hear it from your mother.  Her children aren't adopted, they're her own children, but I think it's terrible whomever you hear it from.  I don't understand how someone could be so cruel.

Answer 5

Yes i did - but not from my parents  - kids at school thought they'd be smart assess... one time this girl commented when the teacher was taking the role, she was counting the pupils out loud - and when she came to her total, the girl said "well, we'd have one less if someone was smart enough to abort it..."

What's done is done :) what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger :)

Answer 6

I thought hearing a woman scream "I made you and I can take you out" at her child topped the list.

This little abortion gem has since replaced that ignorant line.

Answer 7

That question could refer to *any* child, adopted or not.

I hope NO ONE ever says that to any person, for any reason.

Answer 8

That Is sad and no one should ever have to hear that we where all put on this earth for a special reason we are all meant for something and if we were not we would not be here to day.

Answer 9

I was never told such a thing.  What kind of so-called parent would say this to their child, adopted or not?  How very sick.

We all could have been aborted, but once here we are under no obligation to be grateful for a decision that was made before we were born, adopted or not.

Answer 10

I never in my life heard that from my mom. That would be an awful thing for a parent to say.

Now I did hear from my mom all the time, you should be more respectful, do you have any idea what it was like to go through 48 hours of labor with you...?!

Answer 11

I never even heard that comment until I saw it here.  It's very nasty to say something like that to anyone.  After all, anyone's mother could have considered abortion at some point, adopted or not.  You never know what's part of anyone's past.

But, to say it to someone specifically because they are adopted just adds that little extra twist of the knife.

Answer 12

I wasnt told that by my aparents but have gotten the old "at least you werent aborted" from others gag!

Answer 13

No never.  I don't agree with that way of thinking.

I just love your source comments.  Sweetened with splenda, you have such a wonderful sense of humor!

Answer 14

You won't believe this, but, when I met my first mom she told me that if abortion had been legal when she got pregnant with me, she would have aborted me.

Ouch.  Talk about feeling as if you should never have been born, that was the worst thing anyone ever said to me.  And then people tell me I should be grateful I wasn't aborted.  Why, so I can live my whole life knowing I should have been an abortion?

Answer 15

That's a horrible thing to say to anyone.

Answer 16

I haven't heard of it...that's really mean

Answer 17

Yep. I was told I had better be glad they had adopted me or I'd be dead, to which I replied  "i'd rather be dead than raised by you"

My adoptive mom and I had alot of issues during my tenyears...Luckily we got over them before she died last year