Three-Year Old Classroom Management Question...?

Question

I'm a three-year old preschool teacher and I have a great class-except for one kid.. In all of my years of education and experience I have never seen anything like this kid and I have no more patience left! The child's behavior is very erratic- they are incredibly aggressive (tackle's other kids who are just waiting in line, steals toys from other kids, destroys art projects other kids are working on,etc.), the child is very disrespectful to authority (runs and hides when they get in trouble, screams at the top of their lungs at me, throws things at me), refuses to take naps, and yet can be the sweetest kid in the class at times. I've tried a variety of behavior modification tools (the light system, positive/negative reinforcement, token system, reward method) and nothing seems to work. The child's mother seems to think the behavior is just typical of other kids the same age, but it's not. I need some ideas on what to do to modify this kid's behavior--it's destroying the class!

Answer 1

Sorry...this is a tough one, isn't it?  

What resources do you have? Do you have outside resources?  Sometimes there are public consultants through the health department that work specifically with behaviors and they will come out and observe and give you suggestions.

Have you had conferences with your staff (even you aides have insights-directors-other teachers in the building).  After you have a conference with the staff...have one with the family.  Make sure the attitude is that you want the best for the child and you want to work with the family.  What is the behavior at home?  Do they see this?  This is why home visits are so nice :-)  It definately gives us an idea of what really goes on in a home.  Compare what you see and what the family states happens and how they deal with it and whether they have success with it.  Lay it all out. Agree to a solution and meet again after the period of time to discuss what is working.

Document document document.   Our goal is to find the root of the problem.  Choose a specific behavior and jot down the time it happened and what was happening around him.  After a week or two compare your notes.  Is there a pattern?  I know you said it was erratic but more often than not when we are not in the middle of it and are looking at it objectively...there is often a pattern.  

Consider your classroom...can you change someone in your classroom...set up/routine/procedure/staff interaction that can help with the child?  Environment often plays a big place.  I'm not saying your environment is not well planned...it sounds like it is if the other children handle it well...but for this child it doesn't work...what can you do for this child?

Can you or one of your staff shadow him for about a month?  I find that this makes a big difference...but it has to be well planned and it's best if it's just a certain staff member (one that has lots of patience :-)).  Have a cue that the adult does/says when he is beginning to make a poor choice.  The Love and Logic suggests something similar to "uh-oh" and I usually do to.  Say "uh-oh.", with a smile on your face.  It's a cue that after consitent use causes the child's brain to "click" and pause for a moment.

Someone mentioned bonding. Definately and to be truthful...the person who shadows will be the one he bonds most with.  I went to a training about I Love You Rituals.   It seems silly at first but it works.  Using a nursery rhyme and changing it a little to fit the situation.  You do it at the same time every single day...even if the child isn't even responding to you.  Within a month they usually start responding and after awhile they'll miss it if you don't do it.  If you are interested you can email me and I'll attach a copy and send it to you.

Can you take a visual route with him?  Create a visual schedule; create visual cards; visuals make a big difference!

Do you have a behavior rules chart up?  I find that having a picture cue and the appropriate behavior is a benefit.  It gives me an "even" ground with a child...especially if they were involved making the "rules".  When something happens we can go over to it and read the rules and talk about why we have the rules in place.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I had a child like that in my class before. They actually put him in my class because I was the only one he would listen to. I found that he just wanted some much needed attention that he was not getting at home. I do see that you have tried the positive/negative approach. Have you tried just giving him some of you time each day. I know that this a very hard thing to do. But maybe you sit next to him at naptime, lunch, storytime, or something like that. Maybe have him to be your little helper also. This may make him feel like you are paying him some attention and it's not negative attention. I do remember that I explained to him that if he would go back to his ways he would not be able to help me. This worked, on days that he may have not gotten enough sleep or maybe something at home was just not right he would be a little harder to help. In this case I did in fact know that he was not gettting attention at home because his mother was a hair dresser and she had a some shop in the basement. So I got to see the way he was treated at home. They all just ignored him and treated like an outcast. I guess because when he was younger no one tried to even help him express his anger and this just made the situtation worse as he got older.

Good Luck With This!!!!

Answer 3

My younger brother was exactly like that when he was younger. He had the exact same behavioral problems you are describing and my mother was often in denial, because that was her "baby". I understand how frusturating it can be. His problem ended up that he was born pre-maturely and his hypothalamus hadn't grown fully. Making him extremely irritable and unable to control his emotions, even though he knew the difference between right and wrong. Maybe see the administration at the school and suggest some type of special learning class for the child, or see if he may respond to some other type of treatment, outside of what the "tools" are. I wish you well....

Answer 4

While dealing with a child like this can be difficult and frustrating, sometimes it is downright painful to deal with the parents, isn't it? I commend you on all your efforts with this child--I'm sure you are at your wit's end!

Refer to your facility's policy for dealing with behavior problems. Is there any recourse involving suspension or removal? Sometimes this is a great way to get parents to realize there is an issue.

I work in a special needs pre-school, and we often take children who have been expelled from multiple day cares. Encourage this child's mother to get him assessed by the local school system--sometimes attending a program with teachers equipped for this type of behavior can really help.

Please please always remember that this child's behavior is not your fault! Keep up your positive attitude!

Answer 5

It always seems like there is always one in every class. Some more difficult to deal with then others. One thing that I have found helpful (though it won't cure all the behavior issues) is to try to bond with that child. Sometimes we get so focused on stopping or trying to prevent bad behavior that we never really connect with the child. Once you can build a little bit of trust and a relationship with that child, sometimes they are a little more willing to listen to you because they respect you more. This obviously sounds like a more extreme case, but sometimes we need reminders for ourselves as teachers that something so simple as bonding with a child can go a long way. Another thing I try to remember when dealing with difficult children is "pick your battles".

I was just reminded of a training I went to also. It was a training on "challenging behavior" with Linda Brault. While I couldn't find a good website for her teachings, she does have a book that shows up on Amazon called: Children With Challenging Behavior: Strategies For Reflective Thinking

You might find some helpful things in there too.

Hang in there and Best of Luck to you! (We've all been there!)