Throw my sons toys away?

Question

my five, almost six y/o son refuses to pick up after himself. i think he may have some add issues but hes very smart and clearly understands he needs to pick up is stuff. ive taken them away for about 3wks once, then i gave them back. his room is constantly a mess. i know hes a kid but this is ridiculous! i feel he doesnt appreciate anything and have tried everything. i really want to give his stuff to some other little boy.

Answer 1

Don't give in! When you give in hes got u right where he wants u!! Kids are more clever than you think...

Answer 2

Did you ever stop to realise he's 6 years old?

I don't know what you expect your son to be doing by that age, but most of all, do not expect him to be a clean freak..

Seriously, ease up on the tidiness angle

Answer 3

I find that it helps to make a game out of cleaning up with my daughter. We sing a song and count while we are picking up, she seems to be amused by this and it has worked really well for us. Also I organized her toys into bins with other toys that are similar, and put a picture of the type of toy on the outside of the container to help her remember what goes where! Taking toys away is good if your child learns from this but it seems yours hasn't. It helps as well if there aren't too many toys in their rooms, I went through and thinned out the amount of toys in my daughters room because there were just to many and I could understand why she didn't want to pick them up!

Answer 4

yep yep.  Start with 2 or 3 toys.  Make him put them in a bag.  Then say "next time, I am choosing which toys go in the bag."

Take them to Goodwill or the like.  Or better - find out where a salvation army drop-off is.  Have your son go with you.

Answer 5

you could take the option of letting him not clean up and when he least expects it (like if he's outside playing or gone or sleeping) you take the toys and put them up somewhere and tell him that they are going to be given away to other kids. he might throw a fit, but that will make him think about what he's been doing. then when you see that he is fine without the toys or he misses the toys give them back or go ahead and take a few awaty. it sounds to me that he has too many to start with. just take away a few and tell him that you are giving away the toys to other kids who clean up their toys. i hope this helps.

Answer 6

My cousin, when he was a little kid, had a little song so that when someone started to sing it, he would know that it was time to go clean things up. (he has 6 older siblings, so you can just imagine the messes....)

It went something like "clean up, clean up, everybody cleans up"

I don't know where it came from, but it worked really well!

Try finding a song or a game to help your child know when it's time to "clean up".

Answer 7

don't REALLY throw his toys away. Tell him, either he picks up or you do. And when you do, you put his stuff in a bag somewhere for a set period of time and he can't play with it until the time is up. My sister did this with her kids and it worked.

Answer 8

reward him for cleaning his room but do not see this as blackmail

Answer 9

He's old enough that you should be able to sit down and discuss this with him.  The two of you need to go into his room and sort all the toys together.  Make him choose which items he doesn't play with very often or has "outgrown".  Those things should go in boxes and be given away to a charity.  The things he keeps should be organized into bins and baskets with labels.  That way everything has its place and he can easily find what goes where.  Then its up to you to be consistant with making him pick them up.

Not picking up his toys at 6 years old isn't just his fault.  My children are 3 and 2 and they know to put away their toys when they are done playing because that's just the way it has always been.  

Just remember that saying "go pick up all your toys" can be overwhelming to a child, especially if you feel like he has "issues".  Be more specific.  Say things like, "You need to pick up all your cars and put them where they go."  When he successfully finishes his task, give him another task.  You could also make a game of it.  Get an egg timer and set it for 5 minutes, then he can see if he can beat the clock.

Answer 10

first i would tell him 1 more time that if he didnt pick up everything he would get his toys thrown away. and if he didnt pick them up you take them and hide them. if he asked about say ''i told you to pick them up they are in the trash'' and if he still doesnt pick them up, do it again. but when he does learn to do so, give the toys back that you ''threw away'' and let him know again to keep his toys picked up

Answer 11

Hide a few toys away.  I mean, up to about 10.  After awhile (say, a couple of weeks) if he doesn't miss them, DONATE them.

As far as his messiness, he is only 6 years old!  If he were older then, I would totally understand.  After all, he needs to clean up after himself.  Right now, sad to say, that would be your responsibility.  Sorry-you're a Mom, it's a thankless job, right?  Just buy him less "stuff" and deal with it.

Answer 12

It sounds like he has too many toys to begin with.

Get rid of some, no need to do it in a mean threatening manner either, sit him down explain he has a lot and other kids out there have none.

then give them away, donate them, have a yard sale, etc...

Answer 13

I know what you mean (I have 3 messy little boys)  The two older ones are 9 and 8 and they still don't clean up how I would like. I wouldn't be so quick to diagnose him with add. Add is more then not cleaning. I think its just a boy thing. My parents use to throw our toys away if we didn't pick them up an I HATED IT so I wouldn't do that either. Just make it a daily routine and sooner or later he will get the hang of it. Like for us it is summer vacation now so the boys know they can not go outside until their room is clean, the garbage has been taken out and the dogs have gone out. So they wake up and get right on it now so they can go play with friends.

Answer 14

"his room is constantly a mess."  So shut the bedroom door.  Then think about this...in about 20 years when he is out of the house living his life, maybe calling once in awhile, you're going to miss the mess.