Thrown off 3 weeks ago...how do I get over nerves?

Question

ok, so 3 weeks ago i was thrown from my horse. long story short...while opening gate the latch got caught in my stirrup and when she pulled away we were stuck. and combination of that with a training fork on, she freaked out and started bucking out of control. (I realize alot of this is my fault) i sustained a bad concussion and dislocated shoulder. now i'm feeling pretty ok, shoulder still a bit sore.

i've decided to ride tonight. i'm going to work her in the round pen first for awhile to get the nerves and energy out, i also plan on riding in the round pen. my horse has never spooked that bad before and she has never bucked with me before, but i'm still a bit nervous. this is the worst injury i've had and the worst bucking i've experienced (maybe i shouldn't have put into such good condition :-)

so my question is, what can i do and tell myself to help get over the nerves and get back on tonight?

Answer 1

Take it slow, and remember that it wasn't really your horse's fault that she spooked; it was just a bad circumstance. Just ride her at the walk tonight in the roundpen, and do that every night until you feel more confident. Talk to her a lot, and remember that she will need time to get her confidence back, too.

Answer 2

Wow!  Does that ever hit home!  How old are ya?

Try this - think about how it could be worse - I am 41 now.  For the past few years I've contracted with trainers to start my horse successfully.  The trainers I thought were good weren't so great.  The horse after 3 trainers still hadn't been conditioned in such a way as to gain confidence in us.  They didn't do much de-spooking work with her.  So when I got her back from the first trainer she spooked in an indoor arena when the wind bobbled the closed doors - couldn't get closer to a horse from a bucking shoot if ya tried.  The sand is NOT soft - luckily I wasn't hurt more than terribly bruised and very very sore.  I took her to another trainer who rather than teaching her confidence pushed her through her fears which taught her to move but increased her fear.  That fall resulted in another fall in the field by our barn - pain again.  Later on, she went through other trainers and we had a few bucking spats that hurt me a bit more, but luckily never badly.  In 2007 I took her to a very reputable trainer who had her about 60 days - he trail rode her in the clinics he gave - she rode miles and miles for days and days without incident.  I brought her home, rode carefully in my field and some deer spooked her - she didn't buck, but she did bolt towards a fence - I decided we should go left, but she went right and we parted ways.  another bruised and sore few weeks.  I hadn't been on her since until last Monday - and I called the trainer right afterward and asked WTH I was going to do - he said that's why he talks alot when he rides to give the scary things a chance to get out of the way before the horse gets spooked.  So in July we'll attempt another trainer with a golden reputation who works the horses with cattle and focuses on de-spooking.

Many have asked me to sell the horse saying she's unsafe.  However, I ,know the reason is that she's scared.  she hasn't been properly started to help her gain confidence.  This takes time and when her main rider shakes like a leaf in the saddle how much confidence can she gain?  If I had the opportunity to load her up and ride with trail safe horses and people, I'd do so without so much fear, but alone we don't do well.  I need a mentor to get me through the experience we both need to build our confidence in each other.

I think you have a much better situation than have I - it doesn't sound like your horse is a bucker or spooker typically as you don't say she does this often, you talk about a single incident.  I don't think you have anything to worry about if she's been solid until that incident - she probably got scared of the gate coming after her once it was hooked to the two of you, scared because you lost control of the situation (not your fault) and she couldn't depend on you to keep her safe.

You MUST get back on and keep trying.  there's nothing wrong with going back to basics - even for months to build your confidence in each other well.  Work on ground work lunging and practicing your gait transitions and direction to get her focused on you.  Ride in a safe area like a round pen or arena and don't tackle the things that make you scared until you find yourself feeling un-afraid to try them again.  Do not push yourself to interact with her while you are visibly shaken, she'll pick up on it and use it against you.  If you have a friend or a trainer you can work with to assist you in doing this properly, take advantage of it.  But by all means, don't get back on and try that thing that hurt you before.

I would suggest also that you get a helmet - it will likely help you gain confidence knowing your head is more protected than before.

Good luck - and think about what fun the two of you had before the accident and how bored and lonely she'll be without your time together.  She's probably thinking the same thing you are - hoping you can get back together without getting scared or hurt again.

Answer 3

I dont know how you people do it , dont really know how you can stop your nerves as i think your really brave to be getting back on . I have suffered with nerves around horses for nearly 20 years and my two daughters have a pony that only now i can go near how sad is that, I have my very first riding lesson tommorrow at the age of 34 to try and beat my fear so will be watching your answers closely . Good luck and i hope every thing goes well just remember you have overcome most of your nerves the moment you decided to get back on.

Answer 4

first thing try not to show that ur nervous ur horses knows

take a long time is saddleing and talk to her and lung her for a while then mount her only when you are comfort able

If you still feel scared try riding a horse that calm and very quiet

Good luck

Answer 5

Its good that you want to do it again.  Its hard coming back from a hard fall, to get back on and ride. I fell off at a show hit the wall and was knocked out. They had to call a ambulance and they thought I had a broken hip, on top of numerous injuries. I couldn't ride for 3 weeks. But thankfully my trainer and best bud helped me get back in the saddle.

You should have a good horse friend there that way incase anything happens or you can't do it, they're there. I would say lunge the mare for a while and get on, just walk around for now. Have your friend lead the mare around for you. I did that for a couple of days because I was so freaked out. But hope it goes good for you

Answer 6

start again on whatever you were doing at that time if you were jumping start at trot poles it takes a few days to heal that inner pain but ittl work out

Answer 7

have a plan think up some games you could do and tell yourself to relax and to just have fun don't get so worked up.

Have fun tonight. Oops almost forgot try trail riding that always calms me down. Bring a friend to talk to also.

Answer 8

I know how you feel, I am 23 and got bucked off last year, unfortuneatly i dont have horses of my own so i only ride when i go up to my moms house a few times a year, anyhow when that happened i didnt even let my nerves set in i just got back on...

Thats all you have to do is get back on, and you will start feeling comfortable again, also you might be more nervous now because you are getting older and are not as carefree as you were when you were younger, when you would fall off, or get bucked off, or whatever and just get right back up and move on...

Have a great ride tonight, i must say i am quite jealous

Answer 9

Ha. Nothing. Really people will tell you, "take a deep breath", "remember its wasn't the horses fault", and a whole bunch of bull to make you feel better. In reality. Nothing will help, its a natural reaction. You got "bit", now just learn not to do that again. I know the butterfly's are just swarming in your gut right now. But the best thing to do really. Use them. I rode roughstock for 15 years, bull and broncs. I was scared every time I go on one. And when I say scared I mean scared S@#tless. The best thing to due is use the butterfly's, the fear. The worst thing to do around a horse is allow that fear control you. Because the horse senses it and will take advantage of it, especially if its a young horse. There is nothing this side of the bottle that will make the butterfly's go away. Just don't let them control your emotions. Remember you control your emotions, control the fear. And get back on that horse.

In simpler words

Cowboy Up!

Luck and safe riding.

Answer 10

just take it slow. your horse may be a little nervous 2. just take it easy, dont let her know u r nervous it WILL make it worse. u will have 2 work thought it together

Answer 11

take it slow, your horse could be nervous too..

remember, it wasnt your horses fault, and she might be nervous.

so just relax, and breath.

dont let her know you are nervous, because they can sense it

just remember she got spooked, and any horse could spook. so just take it slow

but you know.. you just gotta "suck it up" and get back on. i understand you couldnt have got back on right after, because of a concussion.. my mom's boss just got a concussion from getting bucked off and not wearing a helmet...

but once your better, which you are, you just gotta pretend it never happened

Answer 12

take it slowly, for the first couple of days just walk calmly around, no one expects you to jump on and gallop off.

and remember she didnt spook out of naughtyness, it wasnt her fault, so she wont do it again, she willl have no reason too.

this is gonna sound mad, but sing. it keeps you breathing (you dont want to stop breathing), helps you to relax and lets your horse know you are there, and if you use a soft tone, the horse will proberbly think you are chatting away and praising her.

good luck and im sure you'll be fine :)

Answer 13

Well, there isn't really one thing you have to do to help your nerves except for to not be scared. Your horse will be able to sense it if you are nervous and may be spooky with you. Be confident and get right back on her with no hesitations and she will be fine. Your horse will react to what you react to, if you are slow and hesitant to get on her, she'll sense that you're nervous. The best answer I can give you is confidence. I was bucked off of my horse a few years ago and he stepped on my finger while I was on the ground and I lost half of it, but right after he bucked me off I got right back on him, granted I was on a trail and had to get back to the ranch, but I still confidently got back on and rode back. Show your horse you have no fear!

I hope this helps you...

Answer 14

You know this is a question that is asked all the time. I can say that yes you did get hurt so there was a reason for not getting right back on the horse. It was an accident that could have been prevented if you just got off the horse and opened the gate. You learned but in a bad way. It is natural to be scared because you did get hurt but you need to remember you always take that chance riding a 1000lbs animal. You need to take it slow like you are doing and build your confidence back up. Horses are a flight animal and try to get away so it wasn't trying to hurt you. But the human mind  learns when it hurts then don't do it again .....it's hard but you are on the right track.....cowboy up.

Answer 15

Your letter tells it all. I rode alot when I was young but after 18 years of no horses I have myself a green 8 year old mare so I read ALOT about fear. Your letter was great. You could have written some of the articles I have read. Building your confidence in the round pen and such. As far as why this experience was different, again you answered your own question. Because it was HORRIBLE. I don't have your knowledge but I can share what I have read and Horse Illustrated has an article in the June 2008 issue. Its written by 2 equestrian sports psychologists and is titled, "Get Your Head Together", 'Put mind over matter when it comes to fear'. I bet you could find it on their website. Anyway its like visualization exercises. Going over your perfect rides in your head. Also like when your really tense your supposed to visualize something like melting butter. I know it sounds silly but they said its supposed to relax you. Well, I'm going out to ride my scary best friend 'I feel like melting butter' lol I'll let you know what happens!.