Tiger Woods finds a magic lamp!
Tiger Woods was out on vacations after the PGA tour ended and while he was on a fishing trip in Nevada, he caught a magic lamp. The scorned Tiger looked at the rust coloured lamp in disbelief and rubbed it. Out came the great Genie
wearing a jumper with ‘I am yours Tiger’ printed on it. Tiger Woods, who has no interest in his kind took a step backwards and asked the Genie for his arrival.
The magical creature offered Tiger three wishes to which the hidden crouching Tiger replied in the following way.
Before disclosing the first wish, Tiger sat down on a red mat, which had love notes of all his fans printed on it. After a long pause, he asked the Genie, “How can I trust you? The last time I asked Devon James to pose as my Genie;
she told the entire world and did me no good. Devon was Tiger‘s mistress, who leaked his story of infidelity in front of the media.”
The Genie, who happened to be Tiger’s fan blurted without much pondering, “I made Elton John fall in love with David Furnish and did not disclose it. So you can try me?” With the right hand turned into a fist and placed under
the chin, Tiger said, “OK. I want Ian Poulter’s multi coloured pants with the Ryder Cup picture on it and Rafael Nadal’s hair.”
“No.,” the Genie yelled in a painful voice. On inquiry, the Genie responded in a mournful voice, “two years back, I tried stealing the trouser from Poulter’s shelf, but his mom caught me and gave me a beating I still remember.”
Tiger smirched and whispered under his breath, “Some genie... all I wanted was the feeling of holding the Ryder Cup trophy as there is no chance I am going to get one in future.”
Just then, Tiger’s phone rang and the dark skinned Tiger suddenly started blushing. It was Pamela Anderson on the other side, inviting him to an ‘All blondes Invitational’. Tiger was invited, as the sponsors wanted media heap and
who else could perform the job better than the scandalised Tiger.
After putting down the phone, Tiger pumped his fist and made a grouching noise, “Yes! They still want me.” Without a pause, the excited golfer posed another wish, “Fine, I want to change my profession and I will choose cheerleading,
as it does not requires much accuracy.”
The Genie took a deep breath and put his hand on his forehead. “Listen... there is a problem here. I can turn you into a cheerleader, but that requires certain skills and you...” Genie was in the middle of the statement, when
Tiger cut me short. “But, I can walk on water. That is a skill. Haven’t you seen my ad?”
The Genie, whose tummy fades resemblance with John Daly’s tummy put both his hands on his hips and yelled, “Dude, girls won’t let you in. They are scared and besides, you take a shot towards the green and land in a bunker, how
good is your accuracy?”
Accepting the fact, Tiger took a try on the last wish and blurted, “Ok. The final thing, if you can get me this one, I won’t ask for anything else.” The Genie who was now getting helpless dropped his head and said, “Yes Master.”
The 6 feet 2 inches tall Tiger rose up straight and said, “Help me fix my swings...” As soon as Tiger uttered the magic words, the Genie disappeared and a voice came out of the lamp, “Anything, but not this.”
Even the Genie perceived the task as impossible. What good would Sean Foley do for the man, who was struck by his wife with a driver on the night of thanksgiving?
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