Time out for a 15 month old?

Question

When our daughter displays unacceptable behaviour, such as getting into the china cupboard or biting the cat, or throwing a tantrum, we put her into a 2 minute time out in her crib. We know she's safe and she can temper it out in there. We have found that she does not bite the cat again after coming out, but hugs him instead, and she will not go near the china cupboard when she comes out.

When we put her in there, it is for 2 minutes, then we get her, hug her, help her calm and show her the area she had the wrongdoing and explain to her "You can't go there. You could get hurt" or "You hurt the kitty. Give him a hug".

Here in Canada, it is illegal to spank a child under 2 and over 12, and we do not believe in spanking as punishment either. We don't want to hurt our child, and it's quite hypocritical to hurt our child for hurting the cat, then tell her not to hurt him.

We also believe that the time out also gives us the time to calm down before our stress escalates...

Answer 1

Im a new father so I make no claims here.

I know that instead of "Time Out" in the crib, our family will use the corner. I feel this is better because you now have negative association with someplace other than where the child sleeps. Does that make sense? I might be babbling here. I guess my wife and I feel that we would rather the bed area be a place of peace for our child. Maybe that would work for you as well. I think that what you have done so far is very acceptable among many peoples Standards and I also agree with you on the Spanking subject.

Good luck to your family. We are getting our upper teeth in this week.

Go Go Baby Izzie. 12/13 was my childs due date and IS my childs B-Day

I get criticized on parenting as well. But at the end of the day, it is my wife and I who know whats best for our child. Just like you do for yours. I don't think the criticism will ever stop. We are the only ones who can decide when to start disciplining.  I can only say stick to what you deem best for your child and take others oppinions with a grain of salt.

Answer 2

Im not too sure of the question but, if this stops your child behaving in an unacceptable way, without her getting hurt and giving everyone a break just to calm down for 2 minutes, and it works, then this is a great method of giving her discipline.

Answer 3

Hmmm, I don't really understand. I think what you are looking for is people to say "you are doing such a good job and are such a good mom, don't worry about what other people think" which is exactly what I am gonna say. Except you obviously are not looking for suggestions or "criticism" as you say, so just do what you think is right for your child and if it works good, and don't care what other people think.

Answer 4

Well, it seems the 2 min time out is working for you... Do what you keep doing and don't worry what others think..

Answer 5

i agree there is nothing wrong with  time out i live in the usa but i also agree with no spanking. i think the only thing i would do diff. is maybe tell her before u put her in the crib what she did wrong and then again remind her afterwords...........babies have a very short  memory and i think they would not know y they are being punished until afterwords

Answer 6

I also have a 15 month old.  We put him in time out (we don't use the crib, but pull him from what he is doing that we do not like and plop him in front of the wall and ignore him).  He might not understand exactly why what he did was wrong, but he knows that I didnt like what he did and it works for us... an obviously it works for you.

When people critisize your parenting, I find the best answer is to offer an educated statement about your child and the situation.  eg... I get critisized for what I do not offer my 15 month old to eat (re: chocolate, frosting, etc)... I explain that he eats really well and eats whatever I put in front of him, so of course I am going to put in front of him what is best for him and figure the longer I can keep him unaware of sweets, the longer he will eat whatever I give him,  I try to say it with lots of authority (I am the leading authority on my child).  If the critisism continues, I usually just use the old standby... "well, that's something to think about, but right now I think I will stick with this."

If they still push, I say, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and end the conversation.

Good luck... and I agree... DO NOT HIT YOUR CHILD... I also think anyone who waits untill their child is 2 or 3 to teach them how to behave is settign themselves up to have to use physical force to get their child to behave.  By 2 or 3, kids start to know what they can get away with... then you feel like they are old enough to start to behave and they think.... "yeah, what are you going to do about it".....

Answer 7

i dont think you are doing anything wrong. time-out is text book discipline. if others are criticizing you i just wonder how they would deal with a child. if you dont do anything the children rule the household. kudos to you for being the parent! i do believe also that time out is supposed to be one minute per year the child is old, so as the child gets older of course, time out will get longer

Answer 8

First, kudos to you for finding a way to discipline (not necessarily punish) your child in a way that she can make the connection between what she did and what the consequences are, without you yelling or spanking.  

This system is obviously working for your family, I'd stick with it and ignore the critics, or point out how wonderfully well-behaved your child is compared to many toddlers.

Congrats and best of luck!

Answer 9

If you are worried with her associating her crib with time out instead of bed time, or nap time, get one of the portable cribs.  There is nothing wrong with putting a child in a safe place and leaving them there for a few minutes.  We are not supposed to coddle our children, but teach them right from wrong.  How the heck are you supposed to do that without discipline?  Putting the child in a safe place helps you cool down, as you said, and it's probably a good idea.  There needs to be a specific place that you send her each time, so if you are worried about associating bedtime and punishment together, make sure that you make the two very different.  At night, make sure to make it a calm peaceful place, with soft music, and low voices.  When she is being punished, don't put any music on at all, and leave the light on.  I don't think there is any danger of damaging her psyche by disciplining her in this way.  No body knows the right way anymore, just the ways that work for them.  You have to do what you are comfortable with.  it is good to know what others think, but don't rely on others for your final decision.  Mix and match to see what works best for your child.

Answer 10

Not really sure what the question is here, but i think it is a good system. All children behave and react to differently to forms of punsihment. You have to find the system that works for the both of you and stick with it.

Answer 11

My son has the naughty step. I see nothing wrong with you doing the time out. I would only suggest changing the location. The criticism I don't understand. You have to break that bad behaviour now, or else she will be older and a lot worse.

Answer 12

So..whats the question?

Answer 13

I didn't start disciplining my daughter until she was 2 years old. We also used her crib, mainly because she couldn't "escape" from there. I didn't start any earlier because i didn't think she'd get the idea and I would just be putting her in time out every five minutes...At two it worked much better, she could speak too and we could explain to her and get feed back from her.