Tipping waiters at a private party already getting $35/hr?

Question

A friend of mine asked me for advice on the following:

She's having a birthday party for her 1 year old twins In Morris County NJ and is having it catered by a local catering company.

For 4-5 hrs she is having 3 waiters at a charge of 35.00 per hour EACH. She asked one of the catering managers about their $35.00 per hour fee and wanted to verify that tips weren't expected. The manager said "it's customary for the servers to each get a tip around 100.00 on top of their 35/hr fee" -

i said that sounds CRAZY excessive! Does anyone with catering experience know what is normal/customary? I could see if they were getting 10.00/hr - but at 35.00 EACH per hour???

Answer 1

I work for a catering company like that and I playfully (just joking, kinda) call my boss a pimp. This is because the hourly amount he gets for sending us out to events is WAAAAAAY more than we get for actually going to them and working.

It is customary for the host to give a substantial tip to the servers (and chefs if she has them) who work at private events. They have to do a lot more work than they would at a public event, such as as banquet hall, or at a restaurant. Personally, I would think a tip of $50.00-$75.00 is reasonable, but I am not in her area.  

Answer 2

I think the host/hostess should be responsible for any tips over the

$35.00.  The guests should not be expected to tip.  By the way,

why is she having such an expensive party for children so young?

The one-year old twins would be happy with ice cream and cake and

a few games.   What will she do at age 16??

Answer 3

Does sound a little excessive, but the tip should be agreed on prior to the party. I think $100 total sounds more in line.

Answer 4

OH

MY

GAWWWWWWD!!!!!!!!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLAD we moved out here to WYOMING from MORRIS COUNTY!!!  While I loved it there, those prices are WOW-CRAZY!!  And I feel apologetic for charging $17.50/hr for house cleaning???? I'll bet it's $30/hr out there!  WHEW!!!

At $35/person/hr PLUS tip, those waiters had better be dressed to the "nines," and washed behind the ears, with WHITE GLOVES!

I spoke to my mother, who knows ALL things etiquette, and she said that IF this lady can afford such a party for twin 1-year olds, then she can afford the wait staff AND their tips!   You're talking $575 for 3 for 5 hrs plus another $300 for tips... and that's JUST the wait staff!  THEN you start adding in food, cooks, prep, etc. etc. for HOW many guests?

For that kind of money, these twins should belong to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie... but theirs are not 1-year old, yet!

I'll bet this lady is expecting some pretty "big" gifts from her guest list!!!

Have a polite day.

Answer 5

Are the waiters actually getting the $35 an hour, or is that what she is paying the catering firm for the services of the waiters? There is a big difference. The waiters might actually be getting $20 an hour and the tips are income they need.

Answer 6

If each server is getting $35 an hour and works for 8 hours he/she would be getting $280 for a day's work.  If you figure 20% as tip that would come to only $56.  All I can say is that if your friend is will to shell out for the costs of catering then that's her decision.  It does seem a little on the excessive side; but what can you do?  It her kids' party and she feels the need to go all out.

The guests should definitely not tip the servers.

Answer 7

Way to go on the math, Richard.  They're telling you to tip 40%, which is pretty insane.

The waiters may not get the entire $35, but it is certainly not your business to know that, as your contract is with the catering company.  If they are underpaying their staff, that's unfortunate, but you can't be expected to give a $100 tip when you're already paying $35 / hr.

If the staff was good, I would tip each of them 20% of the total, or $7 / hr.

Answer 8

I used to cater with my uncle and 135 dollars per person is about right.He used to pay me and whoever else helped out 125 but we'd be working more then 4-5 hours. It'd be more like 10 hours. We never recieved money directly from the clients or their guests though. My uncle always paid us once they paid him. Tips are a nice gesture but I'd say 135 per waiter on top of the other catering cost is a bit much.