Tipping wedding minister who is family?

Question

My fiance wants his grandpa to marry us. He is an ordained minister already. I know people often tip the minister, whats the protocol when it's a member of the family. I don't mind tipping him, I just don't know if it'll be odd to. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. Maybe should we just assist in his travel expenses instead?

Answer 1

Our minister was a long time friend of my husband's family and we had all agreed that there would be no fee paid to him and he would make no gift to us. Make the same arrangements with Grandpa and I am sure he'll be more than happy. As for travel arrangements, he'd be coming to the wedding of his grandson anyway, right?

Answer 2

I think that paying for his travel expenses would be a wonderful idea. Since he is a family member you don't have to get him the usual cash tip - perhaps you and your fiance can come up with a nice gift that you know he would love. For example if he loves a certain sports team you could him tickets to an event, etc. This way it will be something that is heart felt.

I think it is great that you are having his grandpa perform the ceremony. I think that it will make it a very special occassion even more special.

Good luck to both of you and congrats!  

Answer 3

Yes, pay for his travel.  I would not give him money, per se, because he is your fiance's grandpa and I am sure he is happy to do it.  But, you can pay for his travel.  That would be nice.

Answer 4

My daughter's brother (by her dad before we were married) is an ordained minister.  We asked him to perform her wedding ceremony.  He did the legal paperwork online and flew out here to Vegas for the day only just to preside at her wedding.  We did not tip him. He's her BROTHER.  You don't tip family!!!!  But you could pay for grandpa's travel and hotel.

BTW Grandpa is going to be so pleased to perform the ceremony.  Be sure to get a LOT of pictures of him both durin and after the ceremony with bride and groom and other family members.

Answer 5

buy him a nice present  something he will remember  the day by  

Answer 6

My parents were married by my mom's cousin, and they gave a normal honourarium. However, a cousin is less close. Perhaps give it in the form of a bottle of wine (or whatever he would appreciate).  

Answer 7

Hmm...I'd tip at least the same amount as any minister.  If he's only traveling for the wedding, then definitely help with the expenses, too, not instead.  If he doesn't want a tip, he'll let you know.

Answer 8

Oh, that is SO nice. No, don't offer money, but pay for his expenses and maybe get him a gift like a leather portfolio, or something.

For our ceremony, my husband's brother concelebrated along with two of our friends who are priests - and they told us ahead of time - no payment, no gifts!