Tips 4 staying and settling down in relationship??

Question

Hi all, story of my life i meet someone fall head over heels in love with then then i get bored and usually end up finding someone else moving house etc. Well this time I am starting to feel the old urge to find ventures new BUT i dont want to if that makes sense, i have 3 kids and my eldest is now old enough to understand and the man i am with is all she has known as dad and he is the father of my other 2. He is great in every way but a tad boring- its almost like we are friends now and nothing more but it always goes that way and i end up leaving but now i have children to think of so am trying to look for advice on how to STAY AND ENJOY MY BORING HOMELIFE LOL. once honeymoon period is over it seems i get bored- even thinkin of getting married as a way to force me to stay as then it wouldnt be so easy to walk away but are they right reasons? I love him but not in love with him if you know what i mean.

Answer 1

I have wondered this also, I have been in a few longterm relationships.  Im currently in one now.  It seems that in all of my relationships it has ended up like being friends or flat mates.  Is this what happens in all relationships?  So usually I end up getting bored also and feeling the urge to go to pastures new.  I would be interested also in seeing how other women deal with this.  Do they move on?  Or are they happy to stay in a relationship just like friends?  

Answer 2

Becoming friends with your spouse is an integral part of the relationship. If you carry on with this type of attitude, you will have more notches in your bedpost than a porcupine has quills. If this feeling is something that you can`t fight, you may be in serious trouble. If he is a tad boring, what has caused this to happen? What in his makeup do you find boring? The fact he can settle in and be comfortable with you and you cannot settle?

Answer 3

god sounds like u got kids frm every corner... stop sleepin around uve got kids for god sakes focus on them n not men

Answer 4

It never gets easy honey, and the grass is not greener on the other side!  For your childrens sakes and cause you do love him.......work at putting the spark back.

Have you heard of sybaris?  My hubby of l8 years and I went there the other day and it was heavenly!   http://www.sybaris.com/modules/main/defa...

No matter how much you love someone it takes a little bit of work to keep a marriage alive.  

If your bored, do something about it.   There are new things to try, dressing up or costumes, places to go and things to do.

Also go get some counseling.  You may have some unresolved child hood stuff that is the real sourse of you leaving and getting bored.  

Answer 5

I don't know if I can give you tips but I can tell you how it works here for me and my wife. We find new interest from time to time. Things that are new and bring us much enjoyment. I'm not talking about things we do together as no person can be all things to another. We do make plans for trips together. We talk every evening about our day tell the good,bad,exciting things that happened.

When it comes to money always make sure you have some expendable cash for vacations weekend trips and the spur of the moment dinner out. Home life doesn't seem so boring when you always have something to look forward to.

In those slack times work to stay together as hard as you worked to get together. If he truly is great in every way just a tad boring. You'll be able to find what you feel you're missing.

                           Good Luck  

Answer 6

seperate beds, in seperate houses, in seperate counties is the key to an enduring relationship

Answer 7

Kerri, I think it is time you start to think about your children instead of your self.

Time for you to grow up here and be the responsible parent that you should be, the more "moving around" you do, the more you are going to hurt your children.

They like this man, stop thinking of yourself for once and start thinking of the children.

You made your question sound like you are suffering, but in reality, you are not, your children are.

Time to grow up sweetie!

Answer 8

Hiya

I totally know what you mean. It's funny because at the end of the day - relationships from years ago used to last forever - you hear of old folks having marriages for 50 years and now it doesnt seem to happen anymore.

I have done a course recently about improving relationships at the Dianetics centre in Birmingham. I learned that a relationship is something you need to continually create.. for example, always looking for new things to do - planning things for the future - new and different things. So that you constantly have something to look forward to. Doesnt need to cost a lot of money - but like - deciding to go for the day together somewhere - or deciding to start a new hobby together or something. If a relationship becomes boring its often because the 2 people take it for granted that they know everything about each other and dont talk to each other anymore. Maybe you guys like to watch tv? so maybe decide one night each week to have a no tv night and do something different like play cards or play a board game - or go for a walk etc. there are many ways to create the relationship afresh and find out what it was that attracted you to the person in the first place. the s*x part can also get boring too so i guess it's important to find ways to keep making that new and exciting - but not put ALL the focus on it - because s*x is not the be all and end all in a relationship

Also - be honest with each other and communicate honestly.

I hope that has helped in some way and if you want more information check out the website www.dianetics.org   It explains that there are sometimes deeper reasons why people find it hard to stay in a relationship that are to do with past experiences that continue to have an effect on you. the website explains it really well

all the best

Julia

Answer 9

i know what you mean. you love someone for who they are but you fall in love with them for the things that they do that melts your heart, makes you smile, and all the good times together. well you cant give up on things when they get difficult. he is your partner and you are his. yes i understand that you are bored, but dont forget that you are in this relationship too. what have you been doing to spice things back up, this should not be hard because you know him more than any other person. his likes, dislikes ect. for one COMMUNICATION is the key. express to him how you feel. he might not know where to start but by you pushing him and coming up with something new and fun, he might get in the mood too. try to find a tradition or something that you both can take part in. i have been with my by for a year and 6 months now. i know that that is prob three or four times the amount of time that you have been with him. every tuesday we eat at popeyes, cuz they have a tuesday special, and every other week i treat him and he does the same. if your husband loves sports, get him tickets for both of you. change things around a little bit. change your apperance. maybe its time for a new hair do, color or highlights. giving your self a day to rest, pamper your self, get ready and spice things up when he gets home. try to reconnect the fun back into the realatinship by doing things yourself. BUT you also have to tell him that the fire that was once there, is almost out and see what he does about it. a lot of relationships have ups and downs, but its all about what you do to fix it. he has to do something and you have to do something. the fact that you are bored is the past now. what matters now what you BOTH do to light that fire again. if something is wrong, someone has to fix it. ANYONE. which means that you can do something about being bored too because you are contributing to your relationship. sometimes men need a little push. so start something new. im sure he would be a foul if he does not want to spend alone time with a beautiful woman, or the woman who got all dressed up and changed her apperance for him. so communication, results, routine. communicate with each other. come up with solutions. stick to the solutions and make it a routine. being in love is all about what you do to make that person fall in love with you every day. GOOD LUCK. first step communication.

Answer 10

totally get you i'm the same sort of bored wise

i just split with the father of my youngest in oct but now once again we're even closer than what we were for the last yr we were together

once we get back its fine then few months down the line its like we're just flatmates although we both love each other its like one of us fall out of being in love he usually becomes less affectionate again and i can't stand that so we drift.

sorry can't give you answers because every one is different but yous really need to talk and find out were it is that yous go wrong and try and find a solution to that i've realised that we are better rally good friends and bringing up the children that way than being together and silences bickering and arguing better for the children

although i still really love him and sometimes lie awake thinking it would be better this time

i truly hope you can  sort this out whichever way it goes for the children then your own happiness

good luck just letting you know it happens to us all your not weird or alone

Answer 11

i cant understand you're question, you're not making any sense wanna know how to enjoy your boring home life? get on your knees & please him... maybe then it wont be so boring?

Answer 12

Your s*x life must not be that great.  If you have a good s*x life, it is rarely ever boring. Maybe your just a free spirit, but if this is how you really feel, you should not start heart bonding relationships with people, you should remain single and enjoy the thrill of having who ever you want, whenever.  Its cool now, but when you are 50 will it still be cool?  Possibly.  Good Luck